I am now beginning to ponder the disturbing correlation here. I got to Ecuador, there is an economic crisis, riots and a volcanic eruption, I go to the Czech Republic, Prague is flooded, I go to Korea, they impeach the presidet, am now in Thailand - military coup. Joy. I shall not be surprised if I am flagged next time I try and enter the country.
So it all started late Tuesday night. At midnight, I was tucking myself in when one of my mates calls and states that he was out and they closed the bar, sent them home and said we were under curfew as the military had taken over. After a bunch of expletives, I jumped to the window expecting to see chaos, tanks, murder and I saw zip. Nada. Bangkok was eerily quiet.
I turned the TV on to see a blue screen with familiar squiggly Thai writing crawling along the bottom, on other channels there were images of the King. The King visiting the poor, the King getting married, the King wiping his royal brow in the heat, the King canoeing in the jungle, you get the picture. Could you get any useful information anywhere? No. CNN and BBC were taken off the air. Even now, it is back on but they blank out anything about Thailand. How can it be that people everywhere else in the world are more informed than us?
Thankfully, they have not targeted the internet. But of course, not everyone has it at home. Bit of a confusing time really. The harsh heat and light of day offered no more information. The streets as deserted as they were at midnight the previous evening. But hey, we get the day off! Time to go to the supermarket and stock up, just as I did when the floods hit Prague, oh and have some friends over to party a little, hmmm just as I did in Prague. Getting good at this.
I am sure that as far as military coups go it is the most peaceful ever. Will see what happens.
Watch this space...
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Thursday, September 07, 2006
The magic 3
Bad things always happen in threes. It never rains but it pours, I am sure you are beginning to see where I am going with this.
Last week, was qutie frankly one of the most disastrous in a while. On Tuesday I took one of my classes into the computer. We have been working on their powerpoint presentations for a while and they all showed up with their flashdrives as requested to put the finishing touches on everything so that they can do their presentation next week. Get in there and the computers can't read the flashdrives, only a couple faff about for the whole time in there struggling to get anybody doing anything constructive. So frustrating and looked like a fool. Complete waste of time.
Wednesday morning, get to my favourite class and during the coffee break I got to pour hot water out of one of those electric boiler keeps-it-hot-all-the-time things and I push the button in and when I take my finger off it keeps going! I got boiling water all over the table, all over the floor. Nightmare. Thankfully my students took int heir stride, however yesterday I felt like a little school kid who isn't allowed to play with her toys anymore because she borke one already. When coffee break came they didn't let me go and make my own, virtually barred the exit and heavily insisted that they would make me coffee! I just mumbled, shuffled my feet and stared at the floor.
Following flooding a corridor with boiling water I bimbled into work to teach my Wednesday afternoon kids class. My last class of the week. Everything goes fine and 60 seconds before the end of class I am getting them to line up ready to leave and checking they have cleaned up all the sweet wrappers they think they have managed to conceal under the table and I suddenly hear cries of "teacher! Teacher!" and I turn around to see one of my kids has managed to puke all over herself and the classroom. She couldn't wait 60 seconds? Oh joy. Dragged her to the bathroom, cleaned her up. Warned the person teaching in there next that they might want find an alternate classroom. Other than all that my week was just fabulous...
Last week, was qutie frankly one of the most disastrous in a while. On Tuesday I took one of my classes into the computer. We have been working on their powerpoint presentations for a while and they all showed up with their flashdrives as requested to put the finishing touches on everything so that they can do their presentation next week. Get in there and the computers can't read the flashdrives, only a couple faff about for the whole time in there struggling to get anybody doing anything constructive. So frustrating and looked like a fool. Complete waste of time.
Wednesday morning, get to my favourite class and during the coffee break I got to pour hot water out of one of those electric boiler keeps-it-hot-all-the-time things and I push the button in and when I take my finger off it keeps going! I got boiling water all over the table, all over the floor. Nightmare. Thankfully my students took int heir stride, however yesterday I felt like a little school kid who isn't allowed to play with her toys anymore because she borke one already. When coffee break came they didn't let me go and make my own, virtually barred the exit and heavily insisted that they would make me coffee! I just mumbled, shuffled my feet and stared at the floor.
Following flooding a corridor with boiling water I bimbled into work to teach my Wednesday afternoon kids class. My last class of the week. Everything goes fine and 60 seconds before the end of class I am getting them to line up ready to leave and checking they have cleaned up all the sweet wrappers they think they have managed to conceal under the table and I suddenly hear cries of "teacher! Teacher!" and I turn around to see one of my kids has managed to puke all over herself and the classroom. She couldn't wait 60 seconds? Oh joy. Dragged her to the bathroom, cleaned her up. Warned the person teaching in there next that they might want find an alternate classroom. Other than all that my week was just fabulous...
Thursday, August 17, 2006
The Beautiful Forehead
Apparently this is what I have. A beautiful forehead. It denotes that I couldn't possibly be over 22 according to some Thais I met last night. What are they on about? It has to be said, compliments are weird here. My students just don't seem to be able to get it quite right, things like "Oh teacher today you look beautiful" What do you mean today?
Bimble into Starbucks "Ah Miss G, you are good-looking today" what is with all this today stuff?
One of my kids comes to me at the beginning of every lesson:
"Teacher, I am beautiful, but you are more beautiful. See, an eight-year-old can get it right.
Yesterday I started a new course off-site. During the coffee break as I was fumbling around with this rather daft 'special' (this is just for you teacher) lotus-shaped porcelain weirdo tray thing capable of carrying both my coffee AND glass of water (whoever invented this incredibly useless dual-purpose wobbly thing should be shot) the students felt it necessary to come and tell me what they thought of me.
"teacher, my first impression is that you are very kindly",
"oh, thank you" wobble, wobble, please leave me alone to struggle with this contraption in peace! And of course, let's face it, I doubt "kindly" is the first word that springs to mind when people meet me. You only get that one after years of hard graft of knowing and putting up with me.
At least, noone has called me fat in a long time, I suppose I should be thankful for that one.
In other news, on Sunday I shall start learning street-fighting, and I just can't wait.
I'm off to powder my forehead...
Bimble into Starbucks "Ah Miss G, you are good-looking today" what is with all this today stuff?
One of my kids comes to me at the beginning of every lesson:
"Teacher, I am beautiful, but you are more beautiful. See, an eight-year-old can get it right.
Yesterday I started a new course off-site. During the coffee break as I was fumbling around with this rather daft 'special' (this is just for you teacher) lotus-shaped porcelain weirdo tray thing capable of carrying both my coffee AND glass of water (whoever invented this incredibly useless dual-purpose wobbly thing should be shot) the students felt it necessary to come and tell me what they thought of me.
"teacher, my first impression is that you are very kindly",
"oh, thank you" wobble, wobble, please leave me alone to struggle with this contraption in peace! And of course, let's face it, I doubt "kindly" is the first word that springs to mind when people meet me. You only get that one after years of hard graft of knowing and putting up with me.
At least, noone has called me fat in a long time, I suppose I should be thankful for that one.
In other news, on Sunday I shall start learning street-fighting, and I just can't wait.
I'm off to powder my forehead...
Friday, July 28, 2006
Hols
she's on holiday again, I hear you cry! Yes I am and I'm not ashamed to admit it. I have had a week or so off because it is the end of term. J and I had our first weekend together in about 3 months and it was great. I set off for Kanchanaburi a day ahead of J and spent all of it in a spa - check it out http://www.suan-nanachaat.com - fabulous place!
These are some random ants we found outside our bungalow building a complicated dn in the tree.
Kanchanaburi is about 2 hours outside Bangkok and is where you will find the bridge over the river Kwai. It is a nice place to get out of the traffic and noise of Bangkok and chill for a bit. We didn't do much just stared at the river and relaxed it was great. Went to the bridge of course and to the museums. Looked at all the different things we can do there, going back for the Queen's brithday later in the month to do some kayaking and elephant riding. J not too pleased about the latter but I simply refuse to have lived in this country for two years and not have ridden one.
this is the view from our bungalow. We were overlooking the river and it was great until a humungous party raft disco went thumping by!
J went back to work on Monday and I swanned off to my favourite island - Samet, with a couple of the girls. Thankfully no vortexes of fire were involved this time. It was great to lounge around and eat barbecue. It was super quiet because it isn't a national holiday so there were no Thais on the island.
This is the view we had at dinner and I am sure you can see why it is my favourite island. Of course any island is good but I like Samet because it is quiet and less developed and favoured by the Thais. Not too many fat old men in speedos, although there is never total escape!
This is a cool little Buddhist shrine by the beach. You tend to find shrines and offerings all over the place. Trees are popular. I have also noticed that Buddha appears to be partial to cigars - not sure what that is all about!
This is the bridge over the river Kwai complete with train crossing it, the red dots are tourists. In thailand it is common to have a day out together and all wear the same colour t-shirt. I had to do it once, 200 of us in bright pink shirts - whale of a time. Well, that's it for now. You'll be pleased to know I start back at work on Sat and have loads of overtime as we are short staffed at the mo!
These are some random ants we found outside our bungalow building a complicated dn in the tree.
Kanchanaburi is about 2 hours outside Bangkok and is where you will find the bridge over the river Kwai. It is a nice place to get out of the traffic and noise of Bangkok and chill for a bit. We didn't do much just stared at the river and relaxed it was great. Went to the bridge of course and to the museums. Looked at all the different things we can do there, going back for the Queen's brithday later in the month to do some kayaking and elephant riding. J not too pleased about the latter but I simply refuse to have lived in this country for two years and not have ridden one.
this is the view from our bungalow. We were overlooking the river and it was great until a humungous party raft disco went thumping by!
J went back to work on Monday and I swanned off to my favourite island - Samet, with a couple of the girls. Thankfully no vortexes of fire were involved this time. It was great to lounge around and eat barbecue. It was super quiet because it isn't a national holiday so there were no Thais on the island.
This is the view we had at dinner and I am sure you can see why it is my favourite island. Of course any island is good but I like Samet because it is quiet and less developed and favoured by the Thais. Not too many fat old men in speedos, although there is never total escape!
This is a cool little Buddhist shrine by the beach. You tend to find shrines and offerings all over the place. Trees are popular. I have also noticed that Buddha appears to be partial to cigars - not sure what that is all about!
This is the bridge over the river Kwai complete with train crossing it, the red dots are tourists. In thailand it is common to have a day out together and all wear the same colour t-shirt. I had to do it once, 200 of us in bright pink shirts - whale of a time. Well, that's it for now. You'll be pleased to know I start back at work on Sat and have loads of overtime as we are short staffed at the mo!
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Punch me in the face!
oh, OK then. this is what my boxing instructor shouts at me regularly. Yep, you read right, I am learning to box. I know this is a scary thought for those of you who know me and get this (oh if you could only see the crazed look in my eyes) I am also going to learn Muay Thai! Isn't that just the best news you've heard all day?
I only started a couple of weeks ago but am already at the sparring stage. The first lesson I had to grab my instructor by the hair and knee him in the face! Excellent fun. If only I did it on a Friday night before I teach my teenagers rather than a Sunday night after I have spent all weekend dealing with them. Maybe that is why I punch so hard.
The entire hour and a half is peppered with things like "come on! Hit me in the face! Punch my chin! More power, good, good" and then on Sunday he randomly just threw a punch at me with no warning - hmm testing me see. Unfortunately we are not doing well (this will surprise you) at the looking mean part, we are too busy laughing. There are 5 of us girls from work and it is great. Although, Jenny was offended when he told her she hits like a girl!
Clearly, he is small and stocky, not an inch of fat on him and the energy of a bull that's just stumbled upon an electric fence. He's mean too, now we aren't allowed to stand around gossiping while others spar in the ring we have to do sit ups while we wait! Nightmare. the gloves ming though, oh my word, hours of sweaty hands in there, woah it is dreadful.
I finally have a whole 9 days holiday starting on Thursday woo hoo! But I love my boxing so much I am going to split my trips so that I can be back in BKK on Sunday to go to my lesson. Sleep easy...
I only started a couple of weeks ago but am already at the sparring stage. The first lesson I had to grab my instructor by the hair and knee him in the face! Excellent fun. If only I did it on a Friday night before I teach my teenagers rather than a Sunday night after I have spent all weekend dealing with them. Maybe that is why I punch so hard.
The entire hour and a half is peppered with things like "come on! Hit me in the face! Punch my chin! More power, good, good" and then on Sunday he randomly just threw a punch at me with no warning - hmm testing me see. Unfortunately we are not doing well (this will surprise you) at the looking mean part, we are too busy laughing. There are 5 of us girls from work and it is great. Although, Jenny was offended when he told her she hits like a girl!
Clearly, he is small and stocky, not an inch of fat on him and the energy of a bull that's just stumbled upon an electric fence. He's mean too, now we aren't allowed to stand around gossiping while others spar in the ring we have to do sit ups while we wait! Nightmare. the gloves ming though, oh my word, hours of sweaty hands in there, woah it is dreadful.
I finally have a whole 9 days holiday starting on Thursday woo hoo! But I love my boxing so much I am going to split my trips so that I can be back in BKK on Sunday to go to my lesson. Sleep easy...
Friday, June 30, 2006
Emergency rush
So, another addition quicker than last time, I am getting better. Things have been a little hectic. It was J's B'day last week so copious amounts of my time was spent deciding what to get him, I had plumped for a new mobile but spent hours in the Nokia shop wondering whether the ones I liked were a little too girly, after consulting with men, I discovered that clearly if it looks cute and is available in pink it isn't very manly. Thanks for your help guys by the way, I went for the 6230i - which meant absoutely nothing to me two weeks ago but now I feel qualified as a new consultant for Which? phone magazine.
Anyway, I took him to a Brasilian Churrascaria for dinner which was fun and meaty and on Friday we went out with various friends to a German brewhouse which is huge, sells "german beer"-as dmonstrated by Monika and "German food" has a show and the entire building is shaped like a massive keg of beer... only in Thailand...
Sorry, I almost forgot to point out that this is Maria and Hannah, simply doing what they always do...
I am currently laid up at home and climbing the walls a bit. I have an intestinal infection according to the doc, and much as I'd love to sicken you with my famous imagery, I fear you already get the picture. Going to the hospital here was a bit strange. People arrive in taxis and I can assure you that I was the only one in the emergency waiting room who looked even vaguely ill. There were only about 4 of us in there! Urgence was not a key factor that's for sure. Women were strutting around with their LV bags, the hospital had escalators and a green area -what is that all about, not to mention a shop a bakery and coffee shop and in some there are even Macdonald's! Last time I was in an emergency room in the UK there was a guy next to me trying to hold is eye in it's socket coz some nutter had hit him over the head with a baseball bat all coz the offender had thrown his fag out the window and had hit the probably by now one-eyed pedestrian in the head and he had shouted that he should be more careful. Needless to say, people around me had clearly broken stuff and/or were bleeding. There was a woman in front of me using two mobiles at the same time, one on each ear! I have GOT to get a mobile with a camera. honestly, the stuff I could take pics of on a daily basis, would shock you all.
As an aside, I can't wait till the world cup is over. I am so bored of the convoluted conversations I have with Taxi drivers, you know the Where are you from? Oh UK! England 2 Portugal 0! It wasn't till I was like oh really? that the taxi driver realised that cearly I had no idea that he was predicting and they hadn't even played yet. I took my time explaining to him in thai that I was Welsh (oooh Ryan giggs!) and therefore I don't care about the World Cup. I was rather shocked that not only did he know Ryan Giggs but he also said Millenium Stadium and Cardiff! Last time I told a taxi driver that I was Welsh he asked me if I was muslim...nuff said.
Monday, June 12, 2006
Mellow Yellow
It's the King's Jubilee - 60 years on the throne, longest standing (or should that be sitting?) monarch in the world. Personal benefits of this jubilee are a 5 day weekend. Course, most of the roads are closed in and around Bangkok so travel wasn't really an option oh and I had to work on Saturday and Sunday but I can't complain. Monday and Tuesday are official days off, J had friday off due to traffic (??!!) and about 80 percent of Thai people are wearing yellow T-shirts in the colour of the King's flag with his emblem conveniently across your heart and most have "I love the King" in big letters over it. Nice and tasteful.
It is a weird concept to see people get so into their monarchy. I usually just see them as a figurehead, but here in Thailand they really do stuff and are attributed with the majority of the success of the Kingdom. It is an offence which could carry a jail sentence to criticise the King.
Now that I am teaching adults I am finding out all sorts of things. Here are some interesting tidbits:
My teenagers have no idea who Madonna is! Seriously, they make me feel old, the other day, I was teaching them about pop groups and stuff and they had to design their own group and CD cover etc. As an intro I had the pussycat dolls on the screen and elicited what they knew about them. One Q I had was what songs do they sing? I expected them to reply Don'cha and that was that. They came out with some huge list, Stickwitu, Beep, Sway, I was quite shocked. Never heard of these songs. And no offence to the pussycat dolls but I assumed they were a one-hit wonder, let alone get as far as making a whole album!
Honestly, teaching teens is like being back at school again. I don't remember being so rude to my teachers or surly. I feel like I have to earn favour with the 'cool' group and stuff and quite frankly I just can't cope with the smug look on their faces and that fake passifying grin that makes me want to do some serious damage and make it toothless. It's not a mexican wave I get when I ask them to do the unbelievably horrifying task of picking up their pens and actually writing something, shit, it's not like their supposed to be studying or anything, it's a mexican eye-roll. No to mention the fuss when the dreaded word homework comes up. The more they complain, the more they get! They'll soon realise they aren't going to win. 2 weeks ago a group of girls thought that they could stretch a 15 minute break to 40 and looked at me like I was in the wrong and insane when they returned to find the classroom door locked. Strangely enough, they haven't been late since.
Not only am I finding out about teenage behaviour, but I am finding out some weird superstitions. You can't get your hair cut on a Wednesday, Sunday will bring you long life, Monday - happiness, Thursday - guardian angels will protect you, Friday - you'll never go in want, Saturday - you'll gain admiration. Think about that next time you make an appointment.
Bizarre.
Well, that concludes my Thai tales for now...
It is a weird concept to see people get so into their monarchy. I usually just see them as a figurehead, but here in Thailand they really do stuff and are attributed with the majority of the success of the Kingdom. It is an offence which could carry a jail sentence to criticise the King.
Now that I am teaching adults I am finding out all sorts of things. Here are some interesting tidbits:
My teenagers have no idea who Madonna is! Seriously, they make me feel old, the other day, I was teaching them about pop groups and stuff and they had to design their own group and CD cover etc. As an intro I had the pussycat dolls on the screen and elicited what they knew about them. One Q I had was what songs do they sing? I expected them to reply Don'cha and that was that. They came out with some huge list, Stickwitu, Beep, Sway, I was quite shocked. Never heard of these songs. And no offence to the pussycat dolls but I assumed they were a one-hit wonder, let alone get as far as making a whole album!
Honestly, teaching teens is like being back at school again. I don't remember being so rude to my teachers or surly. I feel like I have to earn favour with the 'cool' group and stuff and quite frankly I just can't cope with the smug look on their faces and that fake passifying grin that makes me want to do some serious damage and make it toothless. It's not a mexican wave I get when I ask them to do the unbelievably horrifying task of picking up their pens and actually writing something, shit, it's not like their supposed to be studying or anything, it's a mexican eye-roll. No to mention the fuss when the dreaded word homework comes up. The more they complain, the more they get! They'll soon realise they aren't going to win. 2 weeks ago a group of girls thought that they could stretch a 15 minute break to 40 and looked at me like I was in the wrong and insane when they returned to find the classroom door locked. Strangely enough, they haven't been late since.
Not only am I finding out about teenage behaviour, but I am finding out some weird superstitions. You can't get your hair cut on a Wednesday, Sunday will bring you long life, Monday - happiness, Thursday - guardian angels will protect you, Friday - you'll never go in want, Saturday - you'll gain admiration. Think about that next time you make an appointment.
Bizarre.
Well, that concludes my Thai tales for now...
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Into the fire...
Well, it has been a while. Time is really flying by at the moment. settling in to new job fine but seems to have taken up a bit of time. So much to learn, taking it all in baby steps etc. Moving on to the more meaty stuff...
Last weekend, was my final 'real weekend' for the next year. I started work on Saturday and my weekend becomes Thursday and Friday. The timetable God has been smiling upon me and I only work from 9-12 on Sat/Sun and only have one late evening finish so I can't complain.
Back to last weekend, I went to Koh Samet. Maria and I were so excited at 4pm at the end of class we were running around the office like a couple of schoolgirls, changing and dashing out of the door, someone even told me that I simply wasn't allowed to have fun in the office, hmmm chortle, chortle, whatever.
Fun was most certainly the name of the day. Along with Maria, I was joined by my recently acquired German friend, well, you know, I really like one, thought I'd branch out a little. The rest of the 'Bell crew' were already on the island eagerly awaiting our arrival as they had Fri off and were also ahead on the general imbibing so speed was of importance and we splashed out so to speak on a speed boat to get us over to the beach upon which friends, a bungalow and a tent were waiting.
This is the moment when someone on a loud speaker booms "let the games begin".
We trudged over a hill to arrive at the bungalow and dump our stuff and returned to join the others. All was going quite well, after a couple we made our usual trip to Silver Sands resort which has a disco and hooked up with other friends of ours. The buckets (literally buckets) of cocktails were flowing and all were having fun. A while later, I was chatting to a mate and spotted M crawling across the sand towards the sea and thought I ought to check out what was going on. She wasn't feeling too good so I sat with her and fed her some water etc. Upon getting her to return to join the group Joe joined me and said that Meine 'friend' was having a bit of an episode and claimed to have tried to throw himself into a fire!
I turned round to see him bawling with Hannah attempting to comfort him. Everybody got their turn but there was nothing doing. Jo tried the hard approach "noone cares you tried to throw yourslef into a fire, get over it", I tried to be understanding "it's ok, you didn't burn yourself everthing is fine" but nothing was doing. Meanwhile, Maria had decided that the only thing that would make her feel better was to head home. I caught her about ten metres up the beach wobbling along. We heaved everyone into a Song Taew (kind of truck transport thing), M was sat there shouting "if this thing doesn't move now I am going to puke" and D was still bawling. Turns out the truck wasn't going anywhere and we had to get out and get onto another one! Anyway, we finally fond oen that was going where we wanted and as we were buping along Tara said I should swap places with D on the edge because we were concerned he might try and lob himself off. As I got up there was an almighty pothole and I went flying into a bunch of legs and spent the rest of the trip trying tofind my flip-flops.
Just to be clear, at this point we had no idea whether we were dealing with a metaphorical fire, a bonfire or what quite frankly. It was hard to get to the bottom of the story.
By the time we got off the Song Taew and walked over the hill D seemed to be in a much better mood - if somewhat embarrassed and worried he had humiliated me - moi? so I thought we were on the home run. I left him to his tent and went for a walk along the pier with Jo and Jme.
Upon our return I heard some rather loud droning sounds and discovered it was D leaning out of the tent making these noises. There was a bunch of Thai revellers a little further down the beach from him trying to party and were looking at him a lot. Then came the blood-curdling screams across the bay. J, J and I looked at each other and clearly had decided he was best left alone! After about ten minutes the Thais had had enough and just went up to him and said "what are you doing?" seeming a little bemused.
We all went to bed and thought things would look better in the morning. At breakfast d joined us looking rather worse for wear. Let's face it a tent in this heat isn't comfortable and you get woken up at sunrise. Nothing much was said. The girls and I went for a swim, Monika and I went for a much needed massage afterwards and most of us convened for a hike to the next beach for a spot of lunch. D spent most of his time recovering. There was still the mystery about the fire.
Upon our return Hannah had been talking to him and had solved the mystery. It was not a metaphorical fire nor was it a bonfire, it was in fact, and I'm not sure how you call it, one of those fire dancer people. You know those people that have strings alight and twiddle them round a lot? One of them. clearly, the poor guy had a bit of a schock to be bulldozed mid-performance.
It appears we have photographic evidence. Monika remembered being about to take a photo of the guy when suddnely he stopped performing and put the flames out. Indeed she had pressed the button but it is all bit dark. We are working on it.
Anyway, strange things will happen. It certainly added a little spice to our weekend, although really there is quite enough in the food here. There are still patchy explanations as to why this happened, Jo is under the impression that he was trying to throw himself into a vortex to get to the other side, but that's Jo.
The question is, how on earth do you ever top that?
Last weekend, was my final 'real weekend' for the next year. I started work on Saturday and my weekend becomes Thursday and Friday. The timetable God has been smiling upon me and I only work from 9-12 on Sat/Sun and only have one late evening finish so I can't complain.
Back to last weekend, I went to Koh Samet. Maria and I were so excited at 4pm at the end of class we were running around the office like a couple of schoolgirls, changing and dashing out of the door, someone even told me that I simply wasn't allowed to have fun in the office, hmmm chortle, chortle, whatever.
Fun was most certainly the name of the day. Along with Maria, I was joined by my recently acquired German friend, well, you know, I really like one, thought I'd branch out a little. The rest of the 'Bell crew' were already on the island eagerly awaiting our arrival as they had Fri off and were also ahead on the general imbibing so speed was of importance and we splashed out so to speak on a speed boat to get us over to the beach upon which friends, a bungalow and a tent were waiting.
This is the moment when someone on a loud speaker booms "let the games begin".
We trudged over a hill to arrive at the bungalow and dump our stuff and returned to join the others. All was going quite well, after a couple we made our usual trip to Silver Sands resort which has a disco and hooked up with other friends of ours. The buckets (literally buckets) of cocktails were flowing and all were having fun. A while later, I was chatting to a mate and spotted M crawling across the sand towards the sea and thought I ought to check out what was going on. She wasn't feeling too good so I sat with her and fed her some water etc. Upon getting her to return to join the group Joe joined me and said that Meine 'friend' was having a bit of an episode and claimed to have tried to throw himself into a fire!
I turned round to see him bawling with Hannah attempting to comfort him. Everybody got their turn but there was nothing doing. Jo tried the hard approach "noone cares you tried to throw yourslef into a fire, get over it", I tried to be understanding "it's ok, you didn't burn yourself everthing is fine" but nothing was doing. Meanwhile, Maria had decided that the only thing that would make her feel better was to head home. I caught her about ten metres up the beach wobbling along. We heaved everyone into a Song Taew (kind of truck transport thing), M was sat there shouting "if this thing doesn't move now I am going to puke" and D was still bawling. Turns out the truck wasn't going anywhere and we had to get out and get onto another one! Anyway, we finally fond oen that was going where we wanted and as we were buping along Tara said I should swap places with D on the edge because we were concerned he might try and lob himself off. As I got up there was an almighty pothole and I went flying into a bunch of legs and spent the rest of the trip trying tofind my flip-flops.
Just to be clear, at this point we had no idea whether we were dealing with a metaphorical fire, a bonfire or what quite frankly. It was hard to get to the bottom of the story.
By the time we got off the Song Taew and walked over the hill D seemed to be in a much better mood - if somewhat embarrassed and worried he had humiliated me - moi? so I thought we were on the home run. I left him to his tent and went for a walk along the pier with Jo and Jme.
Upon our return I heard some rather loud droning sounds and discovered it was D leaning out of the tent making these noises. There was a bunch of Thai revellers a little further down the beach from him trying to party and were looking at him a lot. Then came the blood-curdling screams across the bay. J, J and I looked at each other and clearly had decided he was best left alone! After about ten minutes the Thais had had enough and just went up to him and said "what are you doing?" seeming a little bemused.
We all went to bed and thought things would look better in the morning. At breakfast d joined us looking rather worse for wear. Let's face it a tent in this heat isn't comfortable and you get woken up at sunrise. Nothing much was said. The girls and I went for a swim, Monika and I went for a much needed massage afterwards and most of us convened for a hike to the next beach for a spot of lunch. D spent most of his time recovering. There was still the mystery about the fire.
Upon our return Hannah had been talking to him and had solved the mystery. It was not a metaphorical fire nor was it a bonfire, it was in fact, and I'm not sure how you call it, one of those fire dancer people. You know those people that have strings alight and twiddle them round a lot? One of them. clearly, the poor guy had a bit of a schock to be bulldozed mid-performance.
It appears we have photographic evidence. Monika remembered being about to take a photo of the guy when suddnely he stopped performing and put the flames out. Indeed she had pressed the button but it is all bit dark. We are working on it.
Anyway, strange things will happen. It certainly added a little spice to our weekend, although really there is quite enough in the food here. There are still patchy explanations as to why this happened, Jo is under the impression that he was trying to throw himself into a vortex to get to the other side, but that's Jo.
The question is, how on earth do you ever top that?
Monday, April 17, 2006
The green, green grass of home
For those of you who often wonder if when I say I grew up in the middle of nowhere I really did, then take a look. Here is what the area I come from looks like. I say this because J always used to say "hmmm yes I too live in the middle of nowhere" then he came to visit and said "Oh My God, you really do live in the middle of nowhere". I presume middle of nowhere in America means more than 10 mins drive from a Burger King.
Other visitors have commented on the lack of streetlights to light your path when driving own the roads (you know who you are I'm not mentioning any names) - that's what those big lights on the front of your car are for! Others merely gaze in stunned silence at the sheer ability of grass to cover things which they have never noticed before.
Tis lambing season back home and the soft bleating echoes through the valleys. Em, this is what a lamb looks like by the way - remember our conversation in the cafe. I took this pic for you - these are the kind of rewards people get when they are an avid reader.
I shall put up pics and goss of my recent trips home and to London and Prague at a later date. Was nice to catch up with everyone. Is always good for me to double check everybody really is ok and happy and stuff, sometimes things change, others don't, seeing for myself that everyone is doing ok always makes me sleep better at night. And that is about as soft and squidgy as I will get. Those of you whom I didn't get to see I shall shove on top of the pile as a priority for first visit next time I come home, which in no way suggests that you were at the bottom this time round;) if everyone could just all live within a ten mile radius of Heathrow life would be dandy.
Moving on... so I arrived back in Bangkok last Wednesday just in time for SongKran. SongKran is Buddhist New Year and is celebrated by four days of water fights. This all sounds well and good and indeed is fun for a day but the novelty wears off quickly. Apparently, this year "sexy clothes" for women were banned and there was a brief ban on water guns. Water guns are not the problem. Buckets full of ice-cold water and talc are the things that are annoying.
When I say talc this is what I mean. You are plastered and it is hard to get off. Expecially when it dries and your face cracks. Does my head in.
The most popular activity aside fron soaking foreigners is driving around in the back of a truck and throwing water at people you drive past. It is insane.
Even the policemen can't escape!
In an effort to avoid maximum soaking I spent a lot of time in taxis. I wanted to take lots of photos but even the taxis get plastered with talc so you can't see through the window. Big talcy handprints all down the window and stuff it is really funny. the security guard got me though with a water gun and a big grin on his face. Nowhere, not even your own home is safe. I realy don't mind the guns because the water dries fast but there is nothing that will make you more miserable than a squelchy backside or "ooh my shorts are nearly dry" SPLASH - cue lots of cursing. Even in taxi I took clearly other soaked people had been in before me and I would get out wondering why my bum was damp! We ordered deliver pizza and I felt so sorry for the guy. His little cap was all white and he was soaking wet, mumbling at me while he dug out the change from several ziplock food bags he had to keep it in to keep it dry! I hope he was on double time is all I can say.
We did finally go and buy a telly. Shopping centres are the only safe haven for those needing a little rest from the onslaught. The one the landlord gave us had a habi of beding the image and then swtincing itself off ramdomly ever ten minutes fro no apparent reason. the landlord wouldn't believe us that it was borken because when he switche it on it came on so he couldn't see the problem! Anyway, they are cheap here and we splashed out (pardon the pun) on a 27 incher - let's face it, who would bother with anything less? When it was delivered J was busy playing with it (the TV of course) and turned round to catch me with one leg in the box.
"you're not seriously going to get into the box are you?" he asked incedulously.
"Course I am it's huge, can't resist" I replied indignantly.
What can I say, Men play with technological stuff, women climb into boxes.
But look, it's huge! of course, if I were taller than 5ft2 then this would be a specatular photo, however, in my expert opinion you can fit in a 7ft basketball player, a couple of kittens and a fallabella pony in that box and still have room for a six-pack and a sandwich. What do you reckon? Maybe we should play that game - guess how many marbles you can fit into the box or something? hmmmm I must try that out...
Other visitors have commented on the lack of streetlights to light your path when driving own the roads (you know who you are I'm not mentioning any names) - that's what those big lights on the front of your car are for! Others merely gaze in stunned silence at the sheer ability of grass to cover things which they have never noticed before.
Tis lambing season back home and the soft bleating echoes through the valleys. Em, this is what a lamb looks like by the way - remember our conversation in the cafe. I took this pic for you - these are the kind of rewards people get when they are an avid reader.
I shall put up pics and goss of my recent trips home and to London and Prague at a later date. Was nice to catch up with everyone. Is always good for me to double check everybody really is ok and happy and stuff, sometimes things change, others don't, seeing for myself that everyone is doing ok always makes me sleep better at night. And that is about as soft and squidgy as I will get. Those of you whom I didn't get to see I shall shove on top of the pile as a priority for first visit next time I come home, which in no way suggests that you were at the bottom this time round;) if everyone could just all live within a ten mile radius of Heathrow life would be dandy.
Moving on... so I arrived back in Bangkok last Wednesday just in time for SongKran. SongKran is Buddhist New Year and is celebrated by four days of water fights. This all sounds well and good and indeed is fun for a day but the novelty wears off quickly. Apparently, this year "sexy clothes" for women were banned and there was a brief ban on water guns. Water guns are not the problem. Buckets full of ice-cold water and talc are the things that are annoying.
When I say talc this is what I mean. You are plastered and it is hard to get off. Expecially when it dries and your face cracks. Does my head in.
The most popular activity aside fron soaking foreigners is driving around in the back of a truck and throwing water at people you drive past. It is insane.
Even the policemen can't escape!
In an effort to avoid maximum soaking I spent a lot of time in taxis. I wanted to take lots of photos but even the taxis get plastered with talc so you can't see through the window. Big talcy handprints all down the window and stuff it is really funny. the security guard got me though with a water gun and a big grin on his face. Nowhere, not even your own home is safe. I realy don't mind the guns because the water dries fast but there is nothing that will make you more miserable than a squelchy backside or "ooh my shorts are nearly dry" SPLASH - cue lots of cursing. Even in taxi I took clearly other soaked people had been in before me and I would get out wondering why my bum was damp! We ordered deliver pizza and I felt so sorry for the guy. His little cap was all white and he was soaking wet, mumbling at me while he dug out the change from several ziplock food bags he had to keep it in to keep it dry! I hope he was on double time is all I can say.
We did finally go and buy a telly. Shopping centres are the only safe haven for those needing a little rest from the onslaught. The one the landlord gave us had a habi of beding the image and then swtincing itself off ramdomly ever ten minutes fro no apparent reason. the landlord wouldn't believe us that it was borken because when he switche it on it came on so he couldn't see the problem! Anyway, they are cheap here and we splashed out (pardon the pun) on a 27 incher - let's face it, who would bother with anything less? When it was delivered J was busy playing with it (the TV of course) and turned round to catch me with one leg in the box.
"you're not seriously going to get into the box are you?" he asked incedulously.
"Course I am it's huge, can't resist" I replied indignantly.
What can I say, Men play with technological stuff, women climb into boxes.
But look, it's huge! of course, if I were taller than 5ft2 then this would be a specatular photo, however, in my expert opinion you can fit in a 7ft basketball player, a couple of kittens and a fallabella pony in that box and still have room for a six-pack and a sandwich. What do you reckon? Maybe we should play that game - guess how many marbles you can fit into the box or something? hmmmm I must try that out...
Thursday, March 09, 2006
New Chapter
I know it has been yonks and I apologise. Searching for a flat and a few other things have kept me all tied up - and not in a fun playful sense.
hmm, what have you missed in my enthralling life as a primary teacher? Oh yeah things like this:
hi
i just want to warn you about ic class,is u were say that on thursday is the last ic learning,but tomorrow we got a test that it's very important so we can't come tomorrow. At least we all want to let you still teaching cause, what about the next generation of prapamontree kids? they would't learn a good english with a english sound,cause when you didn't come,all prapamontree kids speak bad english with a thai sound.
bye
P.S. bad english means not a good grammar!, and i am just the one who can speak english, but just little wrong with the grammar
This is an email from one of my students. Great isn't it? I bet you can guess which one it is. IC class my the way is what they call our English class - Intensive Course, blimey you can say that again.
So, today was my last day. As you can see they had exams so we didn't even have a goodbye lesson. Hmmph. I shall have to console myself wih the memories of sports day we had recently. This was an interesting day. The morning involved the Kindergarten - poor things don't even understand what a cometition is. They had to run a slalom, and we spent the first two hours of the day watching them charge off, go round one post and then veer off into the wild blue yonder! Some of them made it to the end of the course, turned round and then just disappeared. It was hilarious. Then we spent a further hour and a half watching Kindergarten kick a ball all of two feet into a net. Highly scintillating stuff.
This is how Kindergarten tend to make their way round school. this trainesque fashion makes good of their sheep style ability to follow each other. If the one in front is following you then you just can't lose the rest - well, that's the approach the Thai teachers seem to take.
This is one of my cutest Kindergarten...
It just got better. In the afternoon it was the big kids' turn to humiliate themselves. The highlight of my day was the orange juice drinking, donut eating, banana eating, find candy hidden in a bunch of talc and eat them, blow talc off a plate relay race. Now, clearly I am not making it up, coz you have to be either insane or Thai to dream up a race like that. I had oodles of fun watching though. Great stuff.
Photographic evidence that indeed there were chairs and a crazy relay race. This is the bit where they had to find nuts of something in talc and then fish them out and eat them up. Sadly, my batteries conked out before I ahd a chance to get a good photo of them blowing talc off a plate...
Am v. excited. We found a great flat in the centre of Bangkok. It will be nice now not to have to take a taxi to work and stuff. Not be stuck in traffic. Eat what and where we want woo hoo! Finding a flat is the harder part. You basically have to pick an area you want to live in and then walk around and ask places if they ahve apartments to rent. Sod's law the last place we look at is our dream flat. We have a seperate bedroom and everything. Pool, gym, sauna - yay!
Ok, I'll stop I don't want your computer screens imbued with vomit. Can be a bugger to get out of the keys... I shall just post the pics and be on my way...
hmm, what have you missed in my enthralling life as a primary teacher? Oh yeah things like this:
hi
i just want to warn you about ic class,is u were say that on thursday is the last ic learning,but tomorrow we got a test that it's very important so we can't come tomorrow. At least we all want to let you still teaching cause, what about the next generation of prapamontree kids? they would't learn a good english with a english sound,cause when you didn't come,all prapamontree kids speak bad english with a thai sound.
bye
P.S. bad english means not a good grammar!, and i am just the one who can speak english, but just little wrong with the grammar
This is an email from one of my students. Great isn't it? I bet you can guess which one it is. IC class my the way is what they call our English class - Intensive Course, blimey you can say that again.
So, today was my last day. As you can see they had exams so we didn't even have a goodbye lesson. Hmmph. I shall have to console myself wih the memories of sports day we had recently. This was an interesting day. The morning involved the Kindergarten - poor things don't even understand what a cometition is. They had to run a slalom, and we spent the first two hours of the day watching them charge off, go round one post and then veer off into the wild blue yonder! Some of them made it to the end of the course, turned round and then just disappeared. It was hilarious. Then we spent a further hour and a half watching Kindergarten kick a ball all of two feet into a net. Highly scintillating stuff.
This is how Kindergarten tend to make their way round school. this trainesque fashion makes good of their sheep style ability to follow each other. If the one in front is following you then you just can't lose the rest - well, that's the approach the Thai teachers seem to take.
This is one of my cutest Kindergarten...
It just got better. In the afternoon it was the big kids' turn to humiliate themselves. The highlight of my day was the orange juice drinking, donut eating, banana eating, find candy hidden in a bunch of talc and eat them, blow talc off a plate relay race. Now, clearly I am not making it up, coz you have to be either insane or Thai to dream up a race like that. I had oodles of fun watching though. Great stuff.
Photographic evidence that indeed there were chairs and a crazy relay race. This is the bit where they had to find nuts of something in talc and then fish them out and eat them up. Sadly, my batteries conked out before I ahd a chance to get a good photo of them blowing talc off a plate...
Am v. excited. We found a great flat in the centre of Bangkok. It will be nice now not to have to take a taxi to work and stuff. Not be stuck in traffic. Eat what and where we want woo hoo! Finding a flat is the harder part. You basically have to pick an area you want to live in and then walk around and ask places if they ahve apartments to rent. Sod's law the last place we look at is our dream flat. We have a seperate bedroom and everything. Pool, gym, sauna - yay!
Ok, I'll stop I don't want your computer screens imbued with vomit. Can be a bugger to get out of the keys... I shall just post the pics and be on my way...
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
School Time
Don't be fooled by the angelic looks. Of course, a lot of these girls are some of my faves in P1, they are rarely in a mood, don't fight with the others and always try hard at English. But, there is still oodles of room for mischief.
This is where the magic happens. My classroom. Shame the tables aren't naild to the floor. Somehow, Kindergarten manage to move them right in to withing inches of me during the class and I still have no idea how. On Friday, I turned round to discover one of my Kindergarten with a plastic bag on his head! An ill feeling really hit me to the core and I told him to take it off. He looke at me smiled and then pulled a face like he was dead. Clearly, someone had caught him doing it before and warned him of the consequences, but noone had thought to take it away from him!
This is Som Tum. A staple Thai dish. Made with grated green papaya, fish sauce, chillis and peanuts. It is delicious. They crush all the ingredents together in this big thing with a pestle and mortar. Most people have it for lunch and it is a popular cheap street food.
This is where the magic happens. My classroom. Shame the tables aren't naild to the floor. Somehow, Kindergarten manage to move them right in to withing inches of me during the class and I still have no idea how. On Friday, I turned round to discover one of my Kindergarten with a plastic bag on his head! An ill feeling really hit me to the core and I told him to take it off. He looke at me smiled and then pulled a face like he was dead. Clearly, someone had caught him doing it before and warned him of the consequences, but noone had thought to take it away from him!
This is Som Tum. A staple Thai dish. Made with grated green papaya, fish sauce, chillis and peanuts. It is delicious. They crush all the ingredents together in this big thing with a pestle and mortar. Most people have it for lunch and it is a popular cheap street food.
V-Day Blues
Woe is me, v-day and am stuck at home ill. J called to say that I probably had a lucky escape as it appears that in this country you run and around and plaster people with stickers. How romantic. What do you say to that? Thanks for making me look like a loser from Project runway where I had to make a suit out of trash? Course, am lucky I escaped said stickiness but you be damn sure that I am looking forward to seeing what the kids have done to him. Ah...every cloud...
What is it about V-day anyway? Last year, we were driving back from Chi when we had a blow-out on the highway in Kentucky and ended up stuck there for a while waiting for a trooper, nothing like truck fumes in your face to get you in the mood. The year before we were in the least romantic country on earth, well, they have black day where if you are single you have to eat black food and stuff, mmm doesn't that just make you feel warm and fuzzy inside?
The year before that we weren't long together so I boycotted it to avoid the pressure and had a rather nice evening with two of my closest female friends, which brings me to the weekend. Our sort of anniversary. I didn't quite realise it was our anniversary on Saturday until Friday evening. Who moans it's the men who forget these things man? I'm just as bad. We went down to Pattaya beach to relax. It isn't exactly the most romantic setting to be fair. It is the only place in Thailand that GIs could go to on holiday during Vietnam, and really, I doubt the image or trade there has changed much since then.
Lots of foreigners with a beautiful Thai woman. Everybody knows this goes on, it is well-known for it, but it is a different feeling caught up among it. I don't have a problem with it when it is a fit young bloke with a fit bird or an old bloke with an old Thai bird. But, I just feel weird when I see a bloke who clearly wouldn't be able to bed a moose in his home country but is spreading about the wonga for a bird half his age in Pattaya. It is made worse by the fact that they think they are kings because of the woman on their arm and they seem to forget that she isn't really there for the right reasons and doesn't necessarily look like she wants to be there. I'm sure it makes it difficult for those who do have legitimate relationships. That aside, Pattaya is the closest beach and Jomtien area is fairly quiet and family oriented and the bonus of so many tourists is cheap accomodation and decent restaurants so you can't always complain.
It was a fairly nice weekend except or the part where I woke up in horrendous pain with stomach cramps and the inevitable squits. Clearly, I was paying for getting a little carried away and buying steamed Prawns on the beach from a woman selling them from a big pot she carried around with her. Yes, yes, all the warning signs were there, she should have had a huge neon light advertising Gastroentiritis really, but you know, after a while you think you are impervious to the porcelain ache, until you take it a little too far. I'm sure it is the fact that when you first arrive in Thailand, no matter how hot you think you can take your Tabasco or whatever, your first Thai meal will blow your head off. Then you learn that in Thailand they judge the heat of the food by the amount of Chillies that they put in the food. then you realise that Thais have 8-10 Chillis in an average dish and the average Westerner can only manage 3! After a few months of training you can muster about 5 and then you think that your stomach is made of steel and you can eat anything. WRONG!
Oh well, better luck next time...
Hope you all have a good time today whever you are whatever you are doing...
What is it about V-day anyway? Last year, we were driving back from Chi when we had a blow-out on the highway in Kentucky and ended up stuck there for a while waiting for a trooper, nothing like truck fumes in your face to get you in the mood. The year before we were in the least romantic country on earth, well, they have black day where if you are single you have to eat black food and stuff, mmm doesn't that just make you feel warm and fuzzy inside?
The year before that we weren't long together so I boycotted it to avoid the pressure and had a rather nice evening with two of my closest female friends, which brings me to the weekend. Our sort of anniversary. I didn't quite realise it was our anniversary on Saturday until Friday evening. Who moans it's the men who forget these things man? I'm just as bad. We went down to Pattaya beach to relax. It isn't exactly the most romantic setting to be fair. It is the only place in Thailand that GIs could go to on holiday during Vietnam, and really, I doubt the image or trade there has changed much since then.
Lots of foreigners with a beautiful Thai woman. Everybody knows this goes on, it is well-known for it, but it is a different feeling caught up among it. I don't have a problem with it when it is a fit young bloke with a fit bird or an old bloke with an old Thai bird. But, I just feel weird when I see a bloke who clearly wouldn't be able to bed a moose in his home country but is spreading about the wonga for a bird half his age in Pattaya. It is made worse by the fact that they think they are kings because of the woman on their arm and they seem to forget that she isn't really there for the right reasons and doesn't necessarily look like she wants to be there. I'm sure it makes it difficult for those who do have legitimate relationships. That aside, Pattaya is the closest beach and Jomtien area is fairly quiet and family oriented and the bonus of so many tourists is cheap accomodation and decent restaurants so you can't always complain.
It was a fairly nice weekend except or the part where I woke up in horrendous pain with stomach cramps and the inevitable squits. Clearly, I was paying for getting a little carried away and buying steamed Prawns on the beach from a woman selling them from a big pot she carried around with her. Yes, yes, all the warning signs were there, she should have had a huge neon light advertising Gastroentiritis really, but you know, after a while you think you are impervious to the porcelain ache, until you take it a little too far. I'm sure it is the fact that when you first arrive in Thailand, no matter how hot you think you can take your Tabasco or whatever, your first Thai meal will blow your head off. Then you learn that in Thailand they judge the heat of the food by the amount of Chillies that they put in the food. then you realise that Thais have 8-10 Chillis in an average dish and the average Westerner can only manage 3! After a few months of training you can muster about 5 and then you think that your stomach is made of steel and you can eat anything. WRONG!
Oh well, better luck next time...
Hope you all have a good time today whever you are whatever you are doing...
Monday, January 30, 2006
CNY
I'm beginning to feel that my New Years are doomed and that travel problems are just going to be part and parcel of them in the future. It is Chinese New Year and we have yet another long weekend. You won't hear me complaining, oh no, although it would be nice if they told us more than one day in advance so that we could make proper plans and book a hotel etc, but you know, it's a school, why should they have their academic calendar prepared more than two days in advance? that's just crazy talk.
Our friends were heading off to Khao Sam Roi national park somewhere in the south. Didn't know anything about it and neither did they so we thought it would be fun to join. When they asked if I thought traffic would be bad I had a clear lapse of stupididty and said, "well, traffic is always abd in Bangkok why try and predict it?".
It wasn't until Friday morning that J reminded me the hell that was Chinese New year in Korea when a normal 30 min ride home turned into a 2 and a half hour nightmare. But, you now, there were six of us going you think one of us would have thought tha far ahead if it was going to be a problem.... mmmm.
We left school bright eyed and bushy tailed on Friday and immediately hit nauseatingly slow traffic. The greenhouse effect is awful. The air con int he car works but the sun is hitting you so hard it makes you want to puke. We had to stop off in BKK to get some things and we were an hour ahead of the other to make it to the bus station so we didn't have any worries. We even stopped off for a coffee and a snack once we got into the centre because we thought we had time to kill.
Well, not a single taxi would take us to the bus station and even tuk-tuks refused. When a tuk-tuk says no you know you are in serious doo doo. Our only option was to make it as close by public transport adn then try again for a taxi. The others were still stuck in traffic in their own taxi.
We made it to the river and tried in vain again to get a taxi. We then waited in the hugest queue ever for a boat to take us up river to get to the other side and then try and get a txi up there. Finally we were within a couple of miles from the bus station but still no taxis. The others got there and we told them to leave without us as there was no ope of us making the bus. It took us over four hours and them 3 and a half solid hours in a taxi and then there was a 5 hour bus ride ahead of them and we thought it would be best to hang out in BKK instead. We were exhausted with all that trundling around, hadn't had any dinner and were in desperate need of a beer.
We made it into Khao San road and found a nice hotel. We didn't bother shopping round too much as we just wanted to get rid of the rucksack.
We decided to check out things we hadn't seen in BKK yet. We might leave, so now is as good a time as any.
Here is the photographic evidence:
This is Wat Arun. One of the most famous Wats in Bangkok. It means temple of the dawn thus named because that is when the King showed up in BKK to turn it into the capital. It is decorated with pottery.
Now, I've seen some signs in my time and I've ad some warnings but "don't dangle your doll" what does that mean??
It is believed that evil spirits can only travel in straight lines. Many corridors and walkways are built in a zig zag to stop them from being able to travel.
These monkeys also protect the temple.
Here is a classical example of life along the river in Thailand. Houses on stilts and there are always loads of clothes hanging out to dry...
Now, I have often encountered some stupid toursits, but really. They are at a national monument and not content with taking a photo of the cat they are videoing it for good measure!!!
Feel like you learned something today??
Friday, January 27, 2006
Why...
It has been a while. Apologies. Only 26 more days of teaching so the rush is on to get a solid plan into place, find a new job possibly a new country etc. Yes. yes, I know it must sound teribbly exciting to some of you but trust me, the novelty wears off after a while. If only I could just at least decide if we are going to stay here or leave then I could get into "I am leaving need to get shit done" mode or the opposite but instead we are keeping our options open so I have to think of everything from every angle. I want to make sure that the new jobs we have are as good as they can be. We made sacrifices on our priorities to be here and we resent it, we made sacrifices in Korea and we resented it. For once, I want to be 100 percent sure that the job I am doing is what we need from all possible stand points. Professional development, career advancement, adequate accomodation, local amenities, variety of lessons, schedule, school, resources, adequate pay, location the list goes on and on and on and on and on. OK you get the picture. Half the job ads don't even vaguely include any of the information we need and how do you even tell over the internet if a plce is good or not. hmmph.
Moving on before I find more questions to ask myself. My kindergarten have finally discovered my boobs. I am surprised that I got away with it for so long it has to be said. Needless to say a quick grab of the breast is not a parting gesture I am used to and don't intend getting used to, well not from my students of course. I can't seem to stop them , just when I think I have deflected one little so and so creeping in from the left another jumps up from the other side and grabs on for dear life. It's just not a good look. 4 year-olds are not supposed to be boob furniture and I'm concerned they are going to speed up the procees of gravity.
To add to their growing list of 'cute' little foybles. They now think it is hilarious to talk half English half nonsense with me:
Me: " How are you today Pattawee?"
P: " Happy Walloon"
Now correct me if I'm wrong, but I doubt he is trying to tell me what a happy little Belgian he is. I dread to think what it actually means if it has any significance in Thai. My helper (in the loosest posibble sense of the word) doesn't crease up with laughter so I think I'm fairly safe from secret abuse.
I don't know much about kids really. I learn something new every day even now, but last time I came into contact with one before I plunged headlong into teaching them, I don't recall the "why?" phase being at 9 years old. I swear my cousin hit it at about 3/4. One of my 9-year-olds is driving me round the bend. Soon the conversation in class will go like this:
AB (annoying brat) : "Teacher, why is the paper cut like this?
Me: because I'm cack-handed and try as I might I can't cut straight and who cares anyway.
AB: Teacher, why do I have to colour the picture?
Me: because I said so
AB: Teacher, why did you write that word in a different colour pen?
Me: sigh....
AB: Teacher, why can't I be on the same team as the other god English speaker?
Me: sigh....
AB: Teacher, why can't I change my team name?
Me: - huge audible kerfuffle
AB: teacher, why is there a pair of scissors in my eyes?
honestly, I just can't take it some days. There are petty children, fussy children, children who take an eternity to comlpete a sentence but this one can actually communicate! Nightmare.
Long weekend this weekend and braving 'the Thai nature'. I actually have my camera this time. So, brave yourslef for some pics.
Moving on before I find more questions to ask myself. My kindergarten have finally discovered my boobs. I am surprised that I got away with it for so long it has to be said. Needless to say a quick grab of the breast is not a parting gesture I am used to and don't intend getting used to, well not from my students of course. I can't seem to stop them , just when I think I have deflected one little so and so creeping in from the left another jumps up from the other side and grabs on for dear life. It's just not a good look. 4 year-olds are not supposed to be boob furniture and I'm concerned they are going to speed up the procees of gravity.
To add to their growing list of 'cute' little foybles. They now think it is hilarious to talk half English half nonsense with me:
Me: " How are you today Pattawee?"
P: " Happy Walloon"
Now correct me if I'm wrong, but I doubt he is trying to tell me what a happy little Belgian he is. I dread to think what it actually means if it has any significance in Thai. My helper (in the loosest posibble sense of the word) doesn't crease up with laughter so I think I'm fairly safe from secret abuse.
I don't know much about kids really. I learn something new every day even now, but last time I came into contact with one before I plunged headlong into teaching them, I don't recall the "why?" phase being at 9 years old. I swear my cousin hit it at about 3/4. One of my 9-year-olds is driving me round the bend. Soon the conversation in class will go like this:
AB (annoying brat) : "Teacher, why is the paper cut like this?
Me: because I'm cack-handed and try as I might I can't cut straight and who cares anyway.
AB: Teacher, why do I have to colour the picture?
Me: because I said so
AB: Teacher, why did you write that word in a different colour pen?
Me: sigh....
AB: Teacher, why can't I be on the same team as the other god English speaker?
Me: sigh....
AB: Teacher, why can't I change my team name?
Me: - huge audible kerfuffle
AB: teacher, why is there a pair of scissors in my eyes?
honestly, I just can't take it some days. There are petty children, fussy children, children who take an eternity to comlpete a sentence but this one can actually communicate! Nightmare.
Long weekend this weekend and braving 'the Thai nature'. I actually have my camera this time. So, brave yourslef for some pics.
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Spinal Crack
This should come with a warning of: Don't do this at home! However, I am kind of asking you to do just that. I shall therefore do the disclaimer now and say that any injury incurred is not my fault.
I was getting my weekly Thai massage yesterday and still marvel at the woman balancing on my arse. Now I am not sure if I am just incredibly inflexible -although after this many I shouldn't be - or a weakling. Basically I need evidence that it is not just me who suffers in this particular position.
So, grab a partner and choose wisely. I passed a Thai woman weighing herself on one of those electric machines (why do people do that in public??) and I caught sight of her weight: 31.8 Kilos!! That's like 4 and a half stone! 60 pounds! So bear this in mind whilst choosing a partner, don't do it drunk and don't do it when you could end up in one of those dodgy 'oops I snogged him and didn't mean to situations now we need to have a little chat' I also don't claim responsibility for any situations arising...
Got someone? Good.
Lie on your front face down on a pillow and lie on something soft like a matress (this is typically where Thai massages take place) get you partner to stand on you thighs. I am not joking. Wrap you legs (calves) around your partner's calves. Wedge your legs in place using your toes. Comfy? You shouldn't be!
Now, the person on top leans forward and lands on your shoulders with their palms and simultaneously yanks forward and upwards your legs.
Does that hurt like hell? that's what I want to know.
They do this to me every time and by the time I have squinted round to check how she balances up there the yanking begins and I lose all sense of time and space.
Weird.
I was getting my weekly Thai massage yesterday and still marvel at the woman balancing on my arse. Now I am not sure if I am just incredibly inflexible -although after this many I shouldn't be - or a weakling. Basically I need evidence that it is not just me who suffers in this particular position.
So, grab a partner and choose wisely. I passed a Thai woman weighing herself on one of those electric machines (why do people do that in public??) and I caught sight of her weight: 31.8 Kilos!! That's like 4 and a half stone! 60 pounds! So bear this in mind whilst choosing a partner, don't do it drunk and don't do it when you could end up in one of those dodgy 'oops I snogged him and didn't mean to situations now we need to have a little chat' I also don't claim responsibility for any situations arising...
Got someone? Good.
Lie on your front face down on a pillow and lie on something soft like a matress (this is typically where Thai massages take place) get you partner to stand on you thighs. I am not joking. Wrap you legs (calves) around your partner's calves. Wedge your legs in place using your toes. Comfy? You shouldn't be!
Now, the person on top leans forward and lands on your shoulders with their palms and simultaneously yanks forward and upwards your legs.
Does that hurt like hell? that's what I want to know.
They do this to me every time and by the time I have squinted round to check how she balances up there the yanking begins and I lose all sense of time and space.
Weird.
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Literally Speaking
It came to my attention a while back that every time my kids saw a cat they pointed and said Miaow. This happens alot because here are several cats who hang around the school, they like to sleep outside my window so the kids are always trying to spy on them. It became so frequent that I started to wonder if it is indeed the word for cat in Thai.
Then a thread of consciousness started to weave it's way through the sharpened tones of the Thai language and I realised that the word for balloon was something along the lines of bombang - could this mean that some Thai words are onomatopaeic?
Then came this: J mentioned that when he was teaching his kids they were takling about movies that they had seen. One in particular was called Err-err. Some of you can see where this is going and for others it will take a while but I shall confirm any suspicions, the film is similar to I am Sam. Scary, isn't it?
Anyway, I could verify it all in a dictionary but conjecture is more fun. Let's face it this info seeps through children who can't really speak any English, so, it might not be accurate. tis an interesting thought anyway...
Then a thread of consciousness started to weave it's way through the sharpened tones of the Thai language and I realised that the word for balloon was something along the lines of bombang - could this mean that some Thai words are onomatopaeic?
Then came this: J mentioned that when he was teaching his kids they were takling about movies that they had seen. One in particular was called Err-err. Some of you can see where this is going and for others it will take a while but I shall confirm any suspicions, the film is similar to I am Sam. Scary, isn't it?
Anyway, I could verify it all in a dictionary but conjecture is more fun. Let's face it this info seeps through children who can't really speak any English, so, it might not be accurate. tis an interesting thought anyway...
Sunday, January 08, 2006
Tour of Shanghai
I realise I don't really put enough pics up, they convey more than words sometimes. Just got photoshop which helps reduce them, will then move on to the other large amount of pics I have that I haven't bothered to display.
Here we are outside the mansion down in the old part of Shanghai wearing about 9 layers of clothes. The bridge we're on is called the bridge of the nine dragon tails (or something like that - D's gonna kill me for not memorising it all properly) the idea is that evil spirits can only travel in straight lines. There are all the bends in the bridge to prevent evil spritis from entering the house. Lots of steps and different levels are there for the same purpose.
This is the house. Lots of rooms to meet and entertain guests. Lots of those cool curly roofs and stuff.
This is part of the garden. As I mentioned before, Chinese gardens consider rocks to be the main feature rather than flowers.
Here are the women making 'Shaolombai' which we tried - again this is an approximation of the real word! These are like dumplings but the Shangainese will emphatically deny that they are indeed the same as dumplings. They have pork inside and then some juice and are steamed in the basket. The trick is to suck out the juice first and then eat them - no mean feat when using chopsticks!
Here is some bamboo scaffolding which they favour in China. Apparently it is stronger than steel but certainly doesn't look it...
This is the most famous shopping street in Shanghai, full of neon and modern stuff. Was quite nice to walk down a pedestrian area for change.
This is the bund. All the buildings on this side of the road were built to represent all the European arhitecture and they are all here. They were bank headquarters and fancy hotels, check out the flags on top.
This is on the other side of the river to the old buildings. The famous view of Shanghai with all the futuristic buildings. Apparently, Shanghai has more skyscrapers alone than all other places in the world put together!
So, there you have it, a glimpse of what we got up to...
Here we are outside the mansion down in the old part of Shanghai wearing about 9 layers of clothes. The bridge we're on is called the bridge of the nine dragon tails (or something like that - D's gonna kill me for not memorising it all properly) the idea is that evil spirits can only travel in straight lines. There are all the bends in the bridge to prevent evil spritis from entering the house. Lots of steps and different levels are there for the same purpose.
This is the house. Lots of rooms to meet and entertain guests. Lots of those cool curly roofs and stuff.
This is part of the garden. As I mentioned before, Chinese gardens consider rocks to be the main feature rather than flowers.
Here are the women making 'Shaolombai' which we tried - again this is an approximation of the real word! These are like dumplings but the Shangainese will emphatically deny that they are indeed the same as dumplings. They have pork inside and then some juice and are steamed in the basket. The trick is to suck out the juice first and then eat them - no mean feat when using chopsticks!
Here is some bamboo scaffolding which they favour in China. Apparently it is stronger than steel but certainly doesn't look it...
This is the most famous shopping street in Shanghai, full of neon and modern stuff. Was quite nice to walk down a pedestrian area for change.
This is the bund. All the buildings on this side of the road were built to represent all the European arhitecture and they are all here. They were bank headquarters and fancy hotels, check out the flags on top.
This is on the other side of the river to the old buildings. The famous view of Shanghai with all the futuristic buildings. Apparently, Shanghai has more skyscrapers alone than all other places in the world put together!
So, there you have it, a glimpse of what we got up to...
Saturday, January 07, 2006
Inbound Evil Santa
After the previous delay we thought it wise to be ahead of the game and check whether our return flight on New Year's eve wasn't delayed. Usually, this would be a simple task however, after problems contacting me before I left BKK, D had called Shanghai airport to confirm arrival of my flight and was told that without a doubt, positively that we were going to arrive in Shanghai at 11pm. In fact we left at 11pm. Poor D spent four hours in beautiful Shanghai airport with nothing to do. We approached the task with a certain amount of scepticism and it really didn't provide us with any kind of preparation for what was to come.
We thought it would be kind of cool to be in the air at midnight. Long gone are the days when I get all excited about what I'm going to do for NY, it is nigh on impossible to have all the people I want together in the same room. Will have to wait till I am a millionaire and can swing by the various countries to pick you all up in my private jet for the party of the century. But where exactly would we do NY?
Fantasy land aside, let's return to the dismal reality that was my NY. We arrived at
Pudong airport at 7pm for the 10 o'clock flight and weren't shocked to see it was delayed. In fact, thought it was positive that it was actually on the board and therefore, to all intents and purposes, existed. It was delayed until 1am. Again, noone was there at check-in so we went to the only, yes only restaurant in this huge architectural masterpiece of an airport, for an overpriced but nice dinner. We eventually checked-in at 11 and everything was closed the other side. This is normal in China. When we went to the museum it shut at 5. at 4.50 the guards chucked us out of the room we were in and promptly pulled down the iron shutters and the entire building was locked down by 4.49.
We had nothing to do but wait. And wait we did freezing our tits off at our gate. We got a gate change at some point and I tried to bed down and get some rest. Was prodded at around 12.30 by J with a rather dreary Happy NY and that was it. Then they announced that we wouldn't actually be leaving at 1am as the plane wasn't at the airport yet. We were the only people in the damn place. Felt kind of eerie. We finally started to board at around 3am. I was so happy to be on the plane.
As we took off I noticed the smell of petrol but put it to the back of my mind, was so tired and just wanted to get going that I couldn't have cared less. We had been in the air about 10 mins when the plane started to lose height rapidly. This concerned me a little more. 10 mins later the pilot was announcing that there was a technical problem and that we had to retrun to Shanghai. We were so annoyed that we weren't indeed heading back to Thailand that we didn't notice how nervous the pilot sounded.
We had an OK landing and I looked out of the window to see 20 fire engines on the runway surrounding us, complete with police etc. This is when I realised that all was not well. The feeling was intensified when the by now obviously nervous pilot informed us that we were going to be taxied to a remote part of the aiport as far away from other planes as possible. Took a while for the following to occur to me:
They wanted us as far away fom other planes so that we didn't set them on fire if we exploded. However, they weren't remotely interested in getting 400 people off a plane before it exploded!
Nice, huh?
We taxied for half an hour, during this time there was a commotion up front and the inevitable announcement came "erm is there a doctor on the plane, if so please show yourself to a member of staff". Honestly, it was like being on a tragically rudimentary air thriller. The plane was boiling because they couldn't have anthing running and we were cooped up for a while. Eventually they let us out and we were bused back to good old gate 32 with the prospect of another long wait ahead of us. No information came, none was volunteered. There were only 5 westerners in total and we were ludicrously hovering around each other to make sure we didn't get lost and could trade any precious info we had. The same man as before had another heart attack at the gate and people just stood around and stared at him and started fanning him. Eventually, an ambualnce was called and he was carted off. But it took a long time. They left him on the place until last which I am sure didn't do him any favours.
As a Dutch guy who had been living in China for ten years said, we had hit the double jackpot of misery by flying Air India in China. It was just such a stupid situation. Eventually, we were told that we would be on a Thai Air flight at 9am and had to go back through immigration (it was 6am by now, not that there was anybody at immigration anyway) to pick up our bags and then re-check them for our new flight. erm, can't you just put our bags on the other plane? and we didn't have any either! Chinese people started getting angry and there was lots of shouting. They hadn't given us anything to eat or drink. We'd been there for nearly twelve hours and tempers were running high. It all turned out ok in the end. The Thai air flight was fabulous. I have flown with them about 5 times now and every time it has been great.
It couldn't diminish our fab time in Shanghai in any way, though. I just won't fly air India again. Still, this comes in second to four days stuck on a bus in the Ecuadorian jungle, so it wasn't that bad. I think J still gets stunned that when things like this happen I am the one who is calm and not particularly bothered and he gets angry. I just get irate at the little things.
Can also guarantee that everybody else's NY was far better than mine. So, looking forward to hearing all about it. Let's just hope that wasn't a sign of things to come for me this year...
We thought it would be kind of cool to be in the air at midnight. Long gone are the days when I get all excited about what I'm going to do for NY, it is nigh on impossible to have all the people I want together in the same room. Will have to wait till I am a millionaire and can swing by the various countries to pick you all up in my private jet for the party of the century. But where exactly would we do NY?
Fantasy land aside, let's return to the dismal reality that was my NY. We arrived at
Pudong airport at 7pm for the 10 o'clock flight and weren't shocked to see it was delayed. In fact, thought it was positive that it was actually on the board and therefore, to all intents and purposes, existed. It was delayed until 1am. Again, noone was there at check-in so we went to the only, yes only restaurant in this huge architectural masterpiece of an airport, for an overpriced but nice dinner. We eventually checked-in at 11 and everything was closed the other side. This is normal in China. When we went to the museum it shut at 5. at 4.50 the guards chucked us out of the room we were in and promptly pulled down the iron shutters and the entire building was locked down by 4.49.
We had nothing to do but wait. And wait we did freezing our tits off at our gate. We got a gate change at some point and I tried to bed down and get some rest. Was prodded at around 12.30 by J with a rather dreary Happy NY and that was it. Then they announced that we wouldn't actually be leaving at 1am as the plane wasn't at the airport yet. We were the only people in the damn place. Felt kind of eerie. We finally started to board at around 3am. I was so happy to be on the plane.
As we took off I noticed the smell of petrol but put it to the back of my mind, was so tired and just wanted to get going that I couldn't have cared less. We had been in the air about 10 mins when the plane started to lose height rapidly. This concerned me a little more. 10 mins later the pilot was announcing that there was a technical problem and that we had to retrun to Shanghai. We were so annoyed that we weren't indeed heading back to Thailand that we didn't notice how nervous the pilot sounded.
We had an OK landing and I looked out of the window to see 20 fire engines on the runway surrounding us, complete with police etc. This is when I realised that all was not well. The feeling was intensified when the by now obviously nervous pilot informed us that we were going to be taxied to a remote part of the aiport as far away from other planes as possible. Took a while for the following to occur to me:
They wanted us as far away fom other planes so that we didn't set them on fire if we exploded. However, they weren't remotely interested in getting 400 people off a plane before it exploded!
Nice, huh?
We taxied for half an hour, during this time there was a commotion up front and the inevitable announcement came "erm is there a doctor on the plane, if so please show yourself to a member of staff". Honestly, it was like being on a tragically rudimentary air thriller. The plane was boiling because they couldn't have anthing running and we were cooped up for a while. Eventually they let us out and we were bused back to good old gate 32 with the prospect of another long wait ahead of us. No information came, none was volunteered. There were only 5 westerners in total and we were ludicrously hovering around each other to make sure we didn't get lost and could trade any precious info we had. The same man as before had another heart attack at the gate and people just stood around and stared at him and started fanning him. Eventually, an ambualnce was called and he was carted off. But it took a long time. They left him on the place until last which I am sure didn't do him any favours.
As a Dutch guy who had been living in China for ten years said, we had hit the double jackpot of misery by flying Air India in China. It was just such a stupid situation. Eventually, we were told that we would be on a Thai Air flight at 9am and had to go back through immigration (it was 6am by now, not that there was anybody at immigration anyway) to pick up our bags and then re-check them for our new flight. erm, can't you just put our bags on the other plane? and we didn't have any either! Chinese people started getting angry and there was lots of shouting. They hadn't given us anything to eat or drink. We'd been there for nearly twelve hours and tempers were running high. It all turned out ok in the end. The Thai air flight was fabulous. I have flown with them about 5 times now and every time it has been great.
It couldn't diminish our fab time in Shanghai in any way, though. I just won't fly air India again. Still, this comes in second to four days stuck on a bus in the Ecuadorian jungle, so it wasn't that bad. I think J still gets stunned that when things like this happen I am the one who is calm and not particularly bothered and he gets angry. I just get irate at the little things.
Can also guarantee that everybody else's NY was far better than mine. So, looking forward to hearing all about it. Let's just hope that wasn't a sign of things to come for me this year...
Friday, January 06, 2006
Outbound Bad Santa
Just when you think that you've got all your bases covered and you are gazing at the bright blue sky, you stick your foot in a pothole and break your ankle...just like CZ in winter.
Well, some things were rather like that, it has to be said.
I've decided to split this into two parts for sanity purposes, but I doubt it will make it more bite-sized.
I literally hurled myself out of bed on the 27th with HUGE anticipation of heading to Shanghai, seeing D and getting some cold air in my lungs. Being me, I had packed the night before and had cleaned the place (I hate getting back from hols to a mess don't you?) and don't worry I'm not turning into some neurotic old coot, packing only involved stuffing the few vaguely wintery clothes I had into my trusty-just large enough to carry everything I need for a few weeks but just small enough to pass as hand luggage-rucksack. You just know I've got it down to fine art nowadays. Some people, not mentioning any names, still seem to leave it until the last minute and always forget their toothbrush.
Excuse me one moment, I shall just remove the pole from my arse...ahhh that's much better.
Where was I? ah yes, hurling. I peeked out from the balcony to check the traffic status and everything seemed normal for a Tuesday morning. Had to be at the airport around one so I thought that leaving at 10.30 am for what should be an hour-ish journey using two taxis and the BTS (skytrain) should suffice. Two hours later we were still in the first taxi ride and I was getting predictably distraught(it took us half an hour to drive over a bridge!). The taxi driver, clearly sensing one of my most evil looks boring through his head-rest turned to me and asked if we wanted to take one of the little side roads as 'it could be faster'. Now, I said yes completely fogetting that short cuts to Thai taxi drivers mean taking an elaborate route through 'back streets' and even hospital car parks in areas I'm sure should be for ambulances only. Short cut really means anything but short and is rarely scenic. Half an hour later and feeling rather sea sick from all the twists and turns we arrived at the BTS and I noticed that the main road was still chokka. Slightly harrassed and crestfallen that we weren't going to be able to have the leisurely western lunch in BKK that we had planned we headed on to the Airport.
We eventually arrived and our flight was not on the departures board. Nothing. Zip. Nada, no matter how hard I stared. Horrendous visions of it being an utterly bogus flight and I'd handed over my money on some sort of scam flew through my mind. We went to the check-in section for Air India and there wasn't anybody there, not even a soupcon of activity suggesting a flight even existed. Someone directed us to the Air India desk. It was closed. Boarded up with newspaper in fact. I was getting fidgety it has to be said, I'd started swearing a while back.
Good old airport information, we'll try them.
-'Air India? flight AI348? my computer says it leaves here at 9pm.'
- What the bollocks to buggery are you talking about woman? write it down! Write it down! I need it in writing, it can't be right.
It was wrong, actually we didn't take off until 11.10pm. When were we supposed to leave I here you ask? 3pm. And the thing is in Thailand they never seem to care about these things. It is weird and in fact noone else appeared to be there when we were for the same flight. I don't get it. Most people tavel to China on group tours so I presume they had the luxury of being warned about the delay.
The only option was to zoom back into BKK - the prospect of spending 7 hours at the airport is never pleasant, couldn't even check-in to get to the departures lounge anyway. We contacted D to break the bad news that we were going to land around 3am and bimbled about a brand new mall they opened (in between two other huge malls) in BKK. This one, features only shops along the lines of Gucci and Armani - there were thousands of people in there none of whom had any shopping bags - and poncey restaurants, western stuff, a Gourmet supermarket akin to Harrods and lots and lots of fake plant decor, waterfalls and ponds containing the ubiquitous koi.
We returned to the aiport to discover our flight finally on the board with a discreetly flashing delay sign next to it. We finally left at 11.10pm and I was rather disgruntled that they insisted on checking my boarding pass upon entering the gate, in the tunnel on the way to the plane and upon boarding - would anyone in their right mind hang around for 9 hours just to stowaway or have waited 9 hours to discover it is the wrong flight? I think not.
I had been looking forward to the flight hoping the food would be of Indian orientation, predictably, it was not to be. However, I found the hostesses to be lovely and the flight went without a hitch. Obviously, I thought cabin pressure had done something really funny to my ears when she came round with the drinks, and when I said I'd like a beer she replied: "shall I just give you four?" I made her repeat this just to check I wasn't going mad and she just plonked four Kingfishers on my table and more than the recommended amount of nuts. Of course, the first thing I did was look around to check if anyone else was getting special treatment, nope just us. This went a long way to improving this part of the journey.
But the worst was yet to come...
Well, some things were rather like that, it has to be said.
I've decided to split this into two parts for sanity purposes, but I doubt it will make it more bite-sized.
I literally hurled myself out of bed on the 27th with HUGE anticipation of heading to Shanghai, seeing D and getting some cold air in my lungs. Being me, I had packed the night before and had cleaned the place (I hate getting back from hols to a mess don't you?) and don't worry I'm not turning into some neurotic old coot, packing only involved stuffing the few vaguely wintery clothes I had into my trusty-just large enough to carry everything I need for a few weeks but just small enough to pass as hand luggage-rucksack. You just know I've got it down to fine art nowadays. Some people, not mentioning any names, still seem to leave it until the last minute and always forget their toothbrush.
Excuse me one moment, I shall just remove the pole from my arse...ahhh that's much better.
Where was I? ah yes, hurling. I peeked out from the balcony to check the traffic status and everything seemed normal for a Tuesday morning. Had to be at the airport around one so I thought that leaving at 10.30 am for what should be an hour-ish journey using two taxis and the BTS (skytrain) should suffice. Two hours later we were still in the first taxi ride and I was getting predictably distraught(it took us half an hour to drive over a bridge!). The taxi driver, clearly sensing one of my most evil looks boring through his head-rest turned to me and asked if we wanted to take one of the little side roads as 'it could be faster'. Now, I said yes completely fogetting that short cuts to Thai taxi drivers mean taking an elaborate route through 'back streets' and even hospital car parks in areas I'm sure should be for ambulances only. Short cut really means anything but short and is rarely scenic. Half an hour later and feeling rather sea sick from all the twists and turns we arrived at the BTS and I noticed that the main road was still chokka. Slightly harrassed and crestfallen that we weren't going to be able to have the leisurely western lunch in BKK that we had planned we headed on to the Airport.
We eventually arrived and our flight was not on the departures board. Nothing. Zip. Nada, no matter how hard I stared. Horrendous visions of it being an utterly bogus flight and I'd handed over my money on some sort of scam flew through my mind. We went to the check-in section for Air India and there wasn't anybody there, not even a soupcon of activity suggesting a flight even existed. Someone directed us to the Air India desk. It was closed. Boarded up with newspaper in fact. I was getting fidgety it has to be said, I'd started swearing a while back.
Good old airport information, we'll try them.
-'Air India? flight AI348? my computer says it leaves here at 9pm.'
- What the bollocks to buggery are you talking about woman? write it down! Write it down! I need it in writing, it can't be right.
It was wrong, actually we didn't take off until 11.10pm. When were we supposed to leave I here you ask? 3pm. And the thing is in Thailand they never seem to care about these things. It is weird and in fact noone else appeared to be there when we were for the same flight. I don't get it. Most people tavel to China on group tours so I presume they had the luxury of being warned about the delay.
The only option was to zoom back into BKK - the prospect of spending 7 hours at the airport is never pleasant, couldn't even check-in to get to the departures lounge anyway. We contacted D to break the bad news that we were going to land around 3am and bimbled about a brand new mall they opened (in between two other huge malls) in BKK. This one, features only shops along the lines of Gucci and Armani - there were thousands of people in there none of whom had any shopping bags - and poncey restaurants, western stuff, a Gourmet supermarket akin to Harrods and lots and lots of fake plant decor, waterfalls and ponds containing the ubiquitous koi.
We returned to the aiport to discover our flight finally on the board with a discreetly flashing delay sign next to it. We finally left at 11.10pm and I was rather disgruntled that they insisted on checking my boarding pass upon entering the gate, in the tunnel on the way to the plane and upon boarding - would anyone in their right mind hang around for 9 hours just to stowaway or have waited 9 hours to discover it is the wrong flight? I think not.
I had been looking forward to the flight hoping the food would be of Indian orientation, predictably, it was not to be. However, I found the hostesses to be lovely and the flight went without a hitch. Obviously, I thought cabin pressure had done something really funny to my ears when she came round with the drinks, and when I said I'd like a beer she replied: "shall I just give you four?" I made her repeat this just to check I wasn't going mad and she just plonked four Kingfishers on my table and more than the recommended amount of nuts. Of course, the first thing I did was look around to check if anyone else was getting special treatment, nope just us. This went a long way to improving this part of the journey.
But the worst was yet to come...
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
Good Santa
Happy New Year everybody.
As most of you are quite aware by now, nothing I plan ever goes without a hitch. I have a feeling that oppression haunts people. The tentacles of oppression that once stung the Welsh stretch throughout history and sting you on the backside when you least expect it. This can range from a simple slip on the bathroom rug in the morning that ruins your day not to mention the embarrassment factor to the bank cancelling your card without warning whilst you are abroad thus leaving you stranded and penniless.
Yep, there is a big one coming but I decided that today I shall concentrate on the good stuff and then go sharpen my tongue for a couple of days and get to work on describing the cloud that eclipsed my silver lining.
So, there was an office Christmas party. The photo says it all.
Anyway, Christmas was good. Spent it at home, took me 3 hours to cook the dinner in our shoe-box of a toaster oven. Got some cool presents as always and relaxed, watched movies and sipped on mimosas as I started to get to grips with my new Harry Potter PS2 game. Sad but true.
Here comes the cool bit:
On the 27th we set off for Shanghai to see David. It's been two years since he braved Korea to come and see me. Time really does fly. As always though, makes no big difference whether you saw your best friends 20 mins or 20 years ago is the same.
We arrived late, in fact at 3am which was not particularly convenient. But, we just leaped in a taxi after fighting off the drivers that try really hard to squeeze money out of you. Is similar to Thailand however the Chinese have less sense of personal space so have no problems grabbing onto you in the process. Gets a bit annoying for normal people, makes me spit out obscenities at a rate that would make Twista proud.
I had heard bad things about China before I went. People moaning about the state of the bogs and the food being greasy and the people not so nice but I was very impressed. the fist day we bimbled around the old area. Although there isn't much left as they are trying to destroy all of it to make way for more skyscrapers. We saw most of it as David's sense of direction has not improved in the last two years. It was cold but we loved it. It was so great to wander round without breaking into a sweat. My feet were rather disgruntled at being trapped in shoes and socks - haven't worn anything but sandals in 8 months. We saw an old Chinese mansion and the gardens attached which were really cool. Chinese gardens are more focussed on the rocks than the flowers.
In the evening we went for some Chinese hot pot. This is a huge pot of boiling broth that you chuck stuff into and let it cook and fish it back out again and eat it. Great for winter. Lucky to have D there as the English menu left a lot to be desired. No real food names more strange descriptions like "leaping lion" "good luck pigeon" and that kind of thing. Not that Chinese names themselves are any better apparently.
We also got to see the futuristic side of Shanghai and the museum which was really cool. It took an hour to change money in the bank because they weren't familiar with Thai baht but can't complain, when I tried to change GBP (that's real British pounds) in Alabama they wouldn't and wanted to photocopy the notes, fax the copies to Florida to confirm they were indeed real and then call us when they were ready to change it. Because clearly you can tell if a note is counterfeit just by looking at a photocopy of it. Nuff said.
It was really intersting learning about chinese culture and history. The sex shops were weird, digressing a little but whatever. They look more like Chemists, tend to have glass windows and old women running them wearing white coats. A little intimidating. I was most puzzled by an aparatus I hadn't seen before. Namely a doll like thing - miniature - designed to be used under water for 'relief'. I just dont see the point. Any suggestions? OK, dipped my toe in the sewer, moving on.
Real Peking duck was cool. I also realised how much I had missed the communist attention to detail and service. It was great that they placed your food on the table and then hurled the chopsticks at you. Nice and friendly.
Of course, it all wasn't as clean as all that. Spitting is part of the culture, they can make as much noise as they want doing it. Kind of gross but you are at fault if you draw attention to the belching or farting. Got a cool jacket. I wasn't equipped for the cold so I needed one. The Chinese take bartering to new heights. D laid on the thick sob story that we were poor English teachers in Thailand not rich westerners. Things like that. Got a good price. Bought couple of watches, one of which we had to return as the hand fell off - oops. Got some cool Mao propaganda posters. A good haul really.
Lots more to say but am in the middle of cooking. Maybe you should ask your own questions and give me a direction to head in. Hint hint. Is a web page, let's be interactive etc.
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