Spinal Crack

This should come with a warning of: Don't do this at home! However, I am kind of asking you to do just that. I shall therefore do the disclaimer now and say that any injury incurred is not my fault.

I was getting my weekly Thai massage yesterday and still marvel at the woman balancing on my arse. Now I am not sure if I am just incredibly inflexible -although after this many I shouldn't be - or a weakling. Basically I need evidence that it is not just me who suffers in this particular position.

So, grab a partner and choose wisely. I passed a Thai woman weighing herself on one of those electric machines (why do people do that in public??) and I caught sight of her weight: 31.8 Kilos!! That's like 4 and a half stone! 60 pounds! So bear this in mind whilst choosing a partner, don't do it drunk and don't do it when you could end up in one of those dodgy 'oops I snogged him and didn't mean to situations now we need to have a little chat' I also don't claim responsibility for any situations arising...

Got someone? Good.

Lie on your front face down on a pillow and lie on something soft like a matress (this is typically where Thai massages take place) get you partner to stand on you thighs. I am not joking. Wrap you legs (calves) around your partner's calves. Wedge your legs in place using your toes. Comfy? You shouldn't be!

Now, the person on top leans forward and lands on your shoulders with their palms and simultaneously yanks forward and upwards your legs.

Does that hurt like hell? that's what I want to know.

They do this to me every time and by the time I have squinted round to check how she balances up there the yanking begins and I lose all sense of time and space.

Weird.