goody two shoes

I'm quite impressed that I have managed to find myself writing a new post one week after I started. This is a good sign. The pic, if you haven't already guessed, is of my fantabulous school uniform which I must don four times a week. There are two combos of this delectable style, the other being in baby blue with a cream shirt. Although, the shirts are so versatile that they can be worn with both shades of blue to create the appearance that in actual fact you are wearing a different unifrom every day of the week, isn't that just great? And of course the school logo is emblazoned across my heart...ahh. I can hear rounds of excited applause across the globe - ooh what a lovely tremor. Oh and on Wednesdays Thai traditional dress is worn. Indeed, I was fitted for the uniform and it was tailor made - two sizes too big because Thais are convinced that foreigners are fat and even when confronted with the naked truth that we aren't that big, they just give you a bigger size in order to satisfy their beliefs. Nice. What does TB wear I hear you ask? The same thing but with trousers and no shirt. Now, it isn't a bad thing, all teachers wear it and it helps the children see us as being on the same level as Thai teachers (although I fear that little psychological trick wore off a long time ago) but it is made of the weirdest material I have ever come across. Were it cotton - the sensible option for a climate such as this, it is the cool season and it only just dipped to 29C/5678F - then it would be fine, alas this is not the case. I have given up wearing the shirt and bought my own as it makes me smell like a Camembert that has been left in a greenhouse for 5 days. Clearly, what one would be doing eating a Camembert in a greenhouse is questionable but it is the nasal imagery here which is important.
The first week of school went swimmingly. The kids showed up true to form on Tuesday and one proceeded to puke in my class. Nothing like the retchings of a 7-year-old to put you off your lunch. I thought she was having snot troubles as she was rubbing her nose so much I told her to grab some bog roll from my desk - a necessary accoutrement for so many reasons - and she proceeded to sbionk in my bin. I had to momentarily neglect 28 other students (never a good idea, they've discovered I'd rather make a plaster out of a piece of tissue and sellotape than drag them to the nurse and leave them unattended) and take her to the nurse, who is never there or asleep on the bed. Surprisingly nothing was broken or drawn upon in my 2 inute absence from class, possibly at first.
I have a couple of new students most of whom can actually string a sentence together which is a breath of fresh air and I've discovered that my meanie "Nutty clearly struggles in English and has made little progress this semester" reports have made a difference and most of the worst students have not returned. Unfortunately the worst at English are not always my least favourite pupils. Interestingly, I have a battle of the goody-two-shoes in my P3. Last semester I had one kid who has a British father and so spent his time thus:
"Miss Hardcastle, Miss Hardcastle, shall I write the names of all the students who are talking in class on the board so I can report them later"
Me, struggling to explain something to a kid "if you've finished your work of course you can"

two minutes later...

"Miss Hardcastle, Miss Hardcastle, does it count if they are playing with their hair?"

Me: No, I don't think so as long as they aren't being disruptive.

two minutes later...

"Miss Hardcastle, Miss Hardcastle, does it count if they are sharpening their pencils instead of working?"

Me: No, just if they are talking.

and the list goes on...you get the picture.

That was when there was just one...now there are two! I am mildly concerned although there doesn't appear to be any squabbling for attention just yet but I'm interested to see how it will pan out. They wanted to be on the same team in class, I said no - they really do think you are stupid sometimes! Speaking of competition, it is weird how the different ages react to it. They all get excited about team games, but for example my P1 class help members of the other team and don't notice when I blatently award unecessary points to a team who is miles behind. However, my P2 wouldn't dream of helping each other and get quite pissy if mumble a letter to help a kid who is trying to spell a word on the board and with my P3s it is all out war. They check the score boards as they come in and leave and get V. excited when the leader is announced at the end of class. My kindergarten of course don't really seem bothered at all with the notion of competition.

Ah, my kindergarten, the best behaved and loveliest clas of them all. They just go through "how can I mess with my teacher fads" and find the daftest things hilarious. This week the latest thing is that anything they have in their hands that I am collecting they hold on to when they give it to me so I have to tug at it. This generates a huge amount of giggles. With speaking, we have moved from speaking in funny voices, now they like to simply combine stuff. Every day I ask them how they are and now I get "happysad" or "angrytired" followed again by raucous fits of laughter. Who knows what I will have to deal with next week.

Oh, latest Thai kids obsession: pencil cases that have a string that you pull and it spins a weird thing in the pencil case which makes lots of noise. I think I shall be confiscating a fair few this week....

anyway, dinner time, enough of my ramblings.

take care allxx