does any of it work?

So, I travelled from Prague to Bahrain yesterday. Not by bus, of course, but by plane. it never ceases to amaze me how particularly annoying these kinds of journey can be. You'd think it was pretty straightforward. Being asked at the airport at check-in where my visa was when I didn't have one was not the greatest start to my day - thankfully she phoned someone and realised I could get it upon arrival. Phew.

Not a single one of my flights actually took off on time, although knowing my history with flying that doesn't really come as a surprise. there is always something very interesting and quintessentially British while transferring at Heathrow airport. Upon arrival we had to sit on the plane for about half an hour just waiting to get off because someone had forgotten to put the chocks on the plane and the man with the stairs was refusing to put them by the plane until the chocks were there. Of course the captain was giving us a blow-by-blow account of what was going including a minute by minute schedule of when we were going to get out of the plane. due to this, I had no time in between my flights to stop off a smiths not even to get a whiff of heat or some crisps it was straight on to the next one. Why I rushed between terminals is beyond me.

there is always that sinking feeling when you go through a gate, expect to see the plane and are confronted with a bus. We were all herded on and off we went. We then sat outside the plane on the bus for half an hour. No one of course said anything. All of us were just sat in silence staring into space. that kind of boredom that sets in when people start reading the ingredients on the back of their water bottle. I also discovered that people acutally buy and read magazines about digital cameras. You start to examine everything around you, can see who went out last night, who didn't, who got up early this morning, who didn't, who is older than you actually thought at first glance. Yet, no one breathes a word and I just sit there wondering - does any form of transport in this country actually ever work?

keep on moving...

It has been ages I know. Guilt has forced me to start writing again. For those of you who aren't aware, I have left Thailand and have moved to Prague. It took us a while to find a flat but finally we got one we are happy with 0 it even ahs a heated bathroom floor and very strangely, it is in the exact same building I lived in when I first came to the Czech Republic in 2001.

Being back is quite nice, escaping from relentless heat is a massive bonus although it was freezing when we first arrived and of course I had no shoes even vaguely sutied to that kind of weather!

I had also forgotten how charming Czechs could be. I spent the frist two days looking for a charger for my phone as there were no adaptors available. Every mobile shop I went into, the conversation went like this (in Czech by the way)

Me: Hello, I bought this phone in Thailand (shows phone) and I need to get a charger for it to work here. Do you have one?
Salesperson: No.
Me: right, do you know where I can get one?
SP: Yes.
Me: Are you going to share that little pearl of wisdom with me or are you just going to keep it to yourself?

Honestly, it gets frustrating, eeking out info that would normally be readaily provided.

In a restaurant:

Me: Can I have the spinach pizza please?
waitress: OK.

25 minutes later...


Waitress: here is your mexican pizza (with beans and lard on it - bleugh!)
ME: I'm sorry. that isn't the one I ordered.

Waitress, huffs and takes it away and then returns with it and explains that the chef made a mistake therefore I have to eat it anyway and plonks it in front of me.

ahhh, the joys of Czech service.

Other than that things are fab. I have my DELTA interview tomorrow and an interview for summer school in Tunis on Thursday so it is all systems go.

will write more when I have more time...

When in Rome...

I wish I had one. I little camera on my shoulder so I could show you exactly what I see on a daily basis. It would be so much fun. My motorbiking accomplishments are enviable, the brushes with death, the loose helmet, aaah who needs roller coasters. The quickest way around BKK is by motorbike taxi. At the corner of my road, there are a bunch of motorbike taxi drivers in their little orange vests waiting for people. They know me quite well now, when they see me they raise their hand up to check that I indeed need them and come and get me. Nowadays, I don't even need to discuss price with them as they just charge me Thai prices from now on, but it took a while. What happened to me yesterday is a prime example:

I only needed to get a ride to the Train station from where I was so I could connect to the underground. I have taken this route many times and know it is 50 baht in a taxi but traffic was heavy so I knew it could take a long, long time. So, I asked them to take me and as soon as I asked how much a grin spread across his face and he tried not to answer. I used Thai of course which usually automatically gives me leveridge. Not this time. 150 baht he said. Not on your nelly, love what are you going on about. I did the whole Thai tsking and mock surprise and then told him I knew it was 50 in a taxi and a taxi has air con. This is my usual ploy and it usually works a dream. He dropped it to 100 and then tried to tell me that, that was a Thai price - my arse it is! A crowd started to gather to watch the farang argue in Thai. I got him down to 80 but h wouldn't budge and I wouldn't go over 60. His mate stepped in and showed me a coin and said ok then, it lands on the temple you get it for 60, heads, you pay 80. I couldn't believe I had to toss a coin to get the right price, honestly. It landed on my side - I know, I know I am fighting over like half a dollar or something, but it is the rip-off attitude just coz I look like a tourist that gets you down after a while.

Anyway, he eventually got me there in one piece after moaning lots about traffic not that that makes any difference to a motorbike as they weave in between it all. Maybe I shouldn't be telling you stuff like this really, half the time they don't give you a helmet and when they do you can't adjust the strap and it is falling off anyway. I have become quite good at riding side saddle. Most Thai women whether they are wearing a skirt or not ride that way. I didn't trust it at first and then one day I rode normally in a skirt and as I got off the bike I flashed my security guards who haven't been able to look at me the same way since. That was the moment I decided I needed to just do the whole side saddle thing. I can now ride side saddle, carrying shopping in one and hand and holding an umbrella over my head in the other. I caught a flash of myself whizzing past a shop window the other day, it is quite impressive.

I must say, I will miss my little motorbike taxis, although I don't recommend trying to double up on time saving and using the ride to blow dry your hair. Dear, oh dear, that idea of a mine was a complete disaster...

Dr Massage

Obviously, in my time in Thailand I have tried most kinds of massage; Thai, Japanese, Herbal, Swedish, Aromatherapy - all with varying degrees of success, Thai still being my favourite. Today I tried Ayuraveda massage. It started off with the woman asking me where I had pain. What she meant was: "where do you think you have pain so that I can put you through the most excruciating hell in that area?" Seriously, I was in shock. It involved her isolating the area and digging her thumb in as hard as she could followed by her elbow with all her weight on it. This went on for an hour with little respite, nothing relaxing about it at all. Surprisingly, now I have no pain in my shoulders however I don't really know if that is because the woman was indeed a well-trained massage Dr and magically cured me or that I could still be in pain but don't realise it because it is significantly less than when I was having my massage. Honestly, when she was doing my head I thought she was going to put her finger through my skull.
J is dealing with some thievery today. Some kid has been stealing his DVDs from his room. Ridiculous. He has had to bring in kids and search their bags to find them. And kids are not good at looking innocent it is laughable. Last Sunday I went outside to put up some questions around the corridor for a running dictation and as I turned the corner I spot two of my teens who hadn't showed up to class yet, sat together doing their homework. It took them about a minute to notice me and the look on their faces when they realised they'd been sprung was a picture it has to be said. Hilarious. I found it really hard to look angry at them - they were so mortified, poor things. At the end of class I only gave them homework for next week. One of the other students looks at me and goes "beautiful punishment teacher, beautiful". They are by far my favourite class. they knew we had a deal, if they do their homework and work hard in class I will give them less homework but if they dick around in class and don't their homework they will get more. It cracks me up when I mix up the pairs and some of the boys end up having to work with a girl because they just sit there shuffling their feet, the girl giggles and stares at the floor, it's so funny. Watching them conjures up so many horrifying memories, I am so SO glad I am not a teenager anymore!

Dissention

It has been a pretty interesting week or so since New Year. There was a strong rumour of a coup last Thursday, they were even talking about a self-coup. I can't even understand how that works. They storm themselves and hold themselves up in order to overturn themselves and put themselves in power? Weird. As you can see the air is thick with irony. A guy called the Nation newspaper and said that he supported Thaksin and was outraged that they suggested he could be behind the attacks therefore he was going to bomb them! I don't know enough about the situation, I read up as much as I can but clearly there are some things that are always going to be a mystery.
Things now lend themselves to a bit of panic. I am not sure how long it will take for things to stabilise but I am pretty sure that things will remain like this for a while at least. As I was told "the situation is fluid"...will see what happens.

Fireworks to the left, ambulances to the right...

Well, the new year has certainly started with a bang here in Bangkok. Nothing like the possibility of being blown up to put a dampner on festivities. Ironically, last new year I was on a plane that was about to blow up, so we had to do an emergency landing, this year on terra firma there are also explosions - hope this isn't a new trend appearing, maybe next year I'll shove myself under water for good measure.

Anyway, there was celebrating to be done regardless. Two of my mates were over and it was to be the last time I would see them as they were leaving Thailand soon so there was still cause to celebrate. Despite authorities cancelling the major festivities there were still fireworks to be seen from my balcony so all was not lost. We decided not to go out as we had planned to go to a major area and they seemed to be targets. Sure enough a bomb was found at our intended destination later that night. The now well-oiled system of get to the 7-11, stock up and party was underway. The fireworks were actually quite impressive and once we had seen them it really made it feel like New Year. (photos up later I'm afraid, am having severe problems getting my New Year pics out of my email and onto the blog right now, dunno y)

Other than that excitement I had a great time in the Philippines it is a beautiful country and the people are fabulous, however, it was a bit more dangerous than I anticipated. They search your bags before you get on the skytrain searching for bombs, indeed on our last day as we had just got off the skytrain and got to the hotel we switched on the news to find that a guy had just been caught there with dynamite in his bag, there is a security guard or two in every shop , they also search you before you go into a club. On the metro and skytrain women and men have seperate cars to ride in - never seen that before. More disturbingly was a guard post we drove past on a trip that was an "anti-hijacking checkpoint". Although, I am not really sure how that works or how effective it could possibly be:
guard: excuse me madam, I was just wondering if you had any plans to hijack someone today?
person: erm no, not at all.
guard: OK, carry on. Have a nice trip!

OR

Guard: excuse me, may I ask whether that ski mask you are wearing is purely a harmless accessory or are you planning to hijack someone?
person: Oh no, it is my latest facial accoutrement, it goes rather well with this massive gun I have, don't you think? It is part of my latest "war on terror" fashion phase, it's all the rage nowadays.

These were the main downsides and after a day or two you get used to it and it doesn't feel so weird. I am used to being harrassed in Asian countries. You have nowhere to hide, you are clearly a foreigner there is no escaping it so you are always a target. However, in the Philippines it was great that you could banter with people and if you just said no thank you politely 9 times out of 10 they would just say ok, Merry Christmas! which shocked me. It really left you with a good feeling.
We went to Manila, Tagaytay, Nasugbu and White beach on Mendora Island. We were in Manila on Christmas day so it was pretty quiet, the lady at the guest house we were staying at said she loved Manila at this time because it was empty, it wasn't till we returned 5 days later that we understood what she meant! We bimbled about getting a feel for the place. We went to Rizal park the theoretical 'lungs of Manila' and realised that everyone else in Mania also thought that the best place to spend Christmas afternoon was in the park. I have never seen so many people in a park. Huge families gathered around, sat on a plastic mat, kids clearly playing with their xmas presents, walkie talkies, badminton sets, remote control cars. It was a really cool atmosphere.
Not far from Rizal park is intramuros, the oldest part of the city. Unfortunately, a lot of it was bombed and few of the original, old buildings remain however it was still a pleasant walk. Pleasant if you managed to block out the sounds of fireworks going off. Filipinos seem to have a strange fascination with fireworks, they were going off everywhere. However, these were not pretty light-up-the-sky fireworks, these were make a big bang that sounds a lot like a gunshot and scares the hell out of you! This coupled with the odd street filled with bunches of kids hanging out, in full 'hip-hop' garb with crunk hits vol. 2 blasting out of every window gave it a certain ghetto quality. J and I wandered down one of these streets and I regretted it. Kids were blasting off these fireworks and throwing them down in front of us as we walked and even if you know the sound is coming it still makes you jump. There were a couple of nice churches to be found and clearly this was an area of Manila they had tried to clean up a bit, but still there were some areas that felt dodgy. I have just never seen so many people, even in Seoul. It took ten minutes to get out of the tube station because of the queue of people waiting to go through the turnstiles. It was crazy. Leaving Manila was tough, making it out of the sky train station and to the bus station was a horrendous ordeal messing about, dodging people, everything looked the same, people were everywhere, finding the bus station took ages and yet it was not far. We were certainly glad to get out of Manila. Just getting out and seeing trees and space made you just breathe out a long, appreciative sigh and then we saw Tagaytay which was absolutely amazing. Now, let me get this right, takes some thinking, it is a prehistoric volcanic crater, inside this crater is a lake, in this lake is an active volcanic crater and of course this whole thing is on an island. It is huge and the view is amazing. We got dumped off on the side of the road opposite a viewpoint and off we went to take a good look. The viewpoints are surrounded with restaurants so we managed to have lunch overlooking the lake. You can take a boat and climb up the volcano however it has been quite active recently and we had been warned it wasn't a good idea so we only got to look, no touching.


My photos simply don't do it justice. It is really hard to convey the scale of this thing. We went to Nasugbu after this, which is an hours journey most of it is spent going around the lake! Speaking of Nasugbu, it wasn't really our destination. We wanted to go to Batangas so we could get a boat over to Puerto Galera. We asked about a bit and several people told us we were indeed standing at the right bus stop to catch a bus passing through heading to Batangas. After about an hour at said bus stop and having observed what felt like trillions of buses going past to places we had never heard of we started to wonder. We spent quite a bit of time looking for the places the buses and jeepneys were headed to on our map however they weren't even on there! We decided that seeing as Nasugbu was on our map that the next bus either going to Nasugbu or Batangas we would just hop on. So, we ended up in Nasugbu. We arrived around sunset and got to eh beach. A beautiful, elongated, black sand beach, it was such a wonderful sight until you looked down. Piles of rubbish everywhere. You just didn't really fancy doing the sunset, casual walk hand-in-hand along the beach because you wouldn't be able to enjoy it you would just be watching where you put your feet.
This made us more determined to get to Batangas. In fact, I feel that the only way you can travel around is by being determined otherwise you wouldn't get anywhere. It takes ages to travel quite short distances and the modes of transport can be quite interesting. After a filling Filipino breakfast - Garlic rice, fried egg and chicken tocino (yum, yum) we headed back to the bus station. After asking the bus station security guard, who was nonchalantly dangling a gun, how to get to Batangas he bundled us into a tricycle and set us off to the mini bus station. You may think I am making this up but a tricycle is indeed a mode of transport. Kind of like a motorbike with a small, round side car. Now, J and I squeezing into this thing was quite a feat, but the most I saw on one was 7 people. Two parents, two kids in the side car, two people riding side saddle on the back of the motorbike and one kid sitting on the roof of the side car with a big grin on his face clearly feeling like the King of the world. We had to take one from White beach to Puerto Galera and back to get to the ATM when we finally got to the island and honestly, the island is also basically a volcano with beaches so the road was quite steep in places. It was the type of ride that you just laugh all the way through because it is so absurd. Seriously, at one point we were heading up such a steep hill that 5 metres from the top I swear we were about tot start rolling backwards. You know if you catch a pothole wrong just as you've gathered enough momentum to make it up the hill that you will never make it! Hilarious.
We made it to Bantangas and got hearded off the minibus to the port and onto a boat to take us to the island about an hour away. This was the kind of journey that really made you think. It was on outboard boat (not that I totally know what that is) but basically it means you have wooden stabilisers on the side to keep you afloat!. The first but was smooth however the middle part in open water was quite rough. People were puking all around me and the boat was plunging precariously high and low on the waves the front frequently getting covered in water. The kind of trip that makes you mentally plan stuffing your passport in your bra and your wallet down your trousers and mentally taking note of the location of the life jackets so you can make it to safety with all necessary documents to allow you to continue your trip after a disaster. Of course, nothing happened, but we were ready.
White beach was amazing. We quickly found somewhere to stay, I threw on my bikini and we hit the beach. White beach was really beautiful, not too many people, the sea was a fabulous colour and more importantly the beach was clean. We also got to try lots of Filipino food. Those are the boats we travelled on by the way!
Strangely, we couldn't really do that in Manila as all the restaurants we found were mainly fast food joints. The food is great, mainly meat and rice oriented but tends to be slow-cooked in a really nice sauce. Of course, I threw myself at the seafood. That pretty much covers it. Ah yes, one more thing, the very essence of our travels. The Jeepney, as I said travelling in the Philippines is taken to a new level and nothing shows it more than the Jeepney. The colours and writing all over it make it even more interesting and is testamant to the Filipino ingenuity and capacity to have a laugh no matter what. We never actually rode in one of these as they never seemed to be going anywhere we wanted and half the time by the time you realise where they are going they have sped past! Well, I am sure this gives you a good idea of our latest travels. you will probably be pleased to know that I shall not be heading anywhere exotic for a while now so you won't have to look at nauseating pics of the beach as you freeze your bums off. Happy New Year to you all and let me know what you got up to...