What's under Orion's belt?

Yeah, yeah, I know you are probably expecting some inter-planaterial filth from my good self detailing the absence of stars under the belt thus indicating the lack of endowment so to speak, but, no, I simply found myself staring at Orion's belt on Saturday evening at a fabulous sound and light extravaganza.

Now, those of you astute enough to think that the very fact that I could even see stars would suggest that I was nowhere near the heavily polluted and smoke-ridden sky of BKK, would indeed be right. I was in Ayuthaya.

Ayuthaya? Where is that? I hear you cry! Well, let me tell you. It is a whole 2 hours on a train to the North of Bangkok. Nothing but luscious green fields, swamps and some dodgy looking abodes seperate it from it's rather large and smelly brother BKK. It was once the capital of Thailand back in 113...erm 12..3.... a long time ago and has many remnants from that era. Yes, more temples. But not sparkly golden Buddha ones like in BKK rather more demure bits of stone poking out of the ground in various formations. I bet you are also wondering why I managed to see so much of the landscape whilst leaning out (don't do that you'll get your head chopped off - sorry I've come over all teachery) of the window. Well, I noticed that at every station there was a marker to say how far you were from where you had been and where you were going, 60Kms we travelled. 60, in TWO HOURS! That's 15 miles an hour on average. Still, can't complain the journey cost a staggering... 22pence/40cents.

Anyway, we got there. See http://www.terragalleria.com/theravada/thailand/ayuthaya/ayuthaya.html for an idea of what the place looks like. I was cursing myself enough for forgetting my camera this time.

On Saturday during the day we went to Lopburi which is a further 15 miles down the road - an hour and 20 by train, it was great. So nice to get into the countryside and savour a little peace and tranquility and be jumped on by monkeys. There are more temples of course, even a cluster of mudhuts in the arse end of nowhere in Thailand cannot be built without a temple but these temples have monkeys living in them. TB was accosted of course and I was scowling so much that they daren't come anywhere near me. It's just great when your evil look works on animals and not just children.

We arrived back in Ayuthaya to attend the amazing sound and light show of the evening commemorating the ancient Kings of Thailand (cue lots of loud patriotic music and flowery descriptions) and the settling of Ayuthaya and wait for it "the battle of the one elephant on back" which clearly was the highlight of the programme for me.

9 Elephants, 9 whole elephants prancing about 'pretending' to fight, squirting water on people, pushing 'actors' into the moat (and looking rather pleased with themselves when they did so) complete with swords that sparks flew off when they clashed - how amazing is that? I was mightily impressed, it even started on time which is a feat in itself in this country. Clearly traffic is a lot lighter than round those parts. It was great, we had been promised that Thais would start crying at the re-inactment of the sacrifice of the Queen to save her people, but it appears that there were only dry eyes in the house. Damn and blast. We couldn't really make out what kind of sacrifice she made, it looked like she was on top of a volcano (well smoke was billowing out from underneath her) and then there were laser tears eminating from the dark and descending the stone she was crouched upon. Any ideas? she jumped into an attacking volcano? She exuded rather large luminous green tears which can only be done once in your lifetime adn then you die? I don't know. Course, I could look it up on the internet and find out in seconds but that is far less fun.

Am afraid have been lacking in the entries this week. I also brought back with me some sort of weird tummy bug (worst Indian food I have ever had in my life). It appears antibiotics zap the old creative juices as it were. As long as that is all they zap, eh?