When in Rome...

I wish I had one. I little camera on my shoulder so I could show you exactly what I see on a daily basis. It would be so much fun. My motorbiking accomplishments are enviable, the brushes with death, the loose helmet, aaah who needs roller coasters. The quickest way around BKK is by motorbike taxi. At the corner of my road, there are a bunch of motorbike taxi drivers in their little orange vests waiting for people. They know me quite well now, when they see me they raise their hand up to check that I indeed need them and come and get me. Nowadays, I don't even need to discuss price with them as they just charge me Thai prices from now on, but it took a while. What happened to me yesterday is a prime example:

I only needed to get a ride to the Train station from where I was so I could connect to the underground. I have taken this route many times and know it is 50 baht in a taxi but traffic was heavy so I knew it could take a long, long time. So, I asked them to take me and as soon as I asked how much a grin spread across his face and he tried not to answer. I used Thai of course which usually automatically gives me leveridge. Not this time. 150 baht he said. Not on your nelly, love what are you going on about. I did the whole Thai tsking and mock surprise and then told him I knew it was 50 in a taxi and a taxi has air con. This is my usual ploy and it usually works a dream. He dropped it to 100 and then tried to tell me that, that was a Thai price - my arse it is! A crowd started to gather to watch the farang argue in Thai. I got him down to 80 but h wouldn't budge and I wouldn't go over 60. His mate stepped in and showed me a coin and said ok then, it lands on the temple you get it for 60, heads, you pay 80. I couldn't believe I had to toss a coin to get the right price, honestly. It landed on my side - I know, I know I am fighting over like half a dollar or something, but it is the rip-off attitude just coz I look like a tourist that gets you down after a while.

Anyway, he eventually got me there in one piece after moaning lots about traffic not that that makes any difference to a motorbike as they weave in between it all. Maybe I shouldn't be telling you stuff like this really, half the time they don't give you a helmet and when they do you can't adjust the strap and it is falling off anyway. I have become quite good at riding side saddle. Most Thai women whether they are wearing a skirt or not ride that way. I didn't trust it at first and then one day I rode normally in a skirt and as I got off the bike I flashed my security guards who haven't been able to look at me the same way since. That was the moment I decided I needed to just do the whole side saddle thing. I can now ride side saddle, carrying shopping in one and hand and holding an umbrella over my head in the other. I caught a flash of myself whizzing past a shop window the other day, it is quite impressive.

I must say, I will miss my little motorbike taxis, although I don't recommend trying to double up on time saving and using the ride to blow dry your hair. Dear, oh dear, that idea of a mine was a complete disaster...

Dr Massage

Obviously, in my time in Thailand I have tried most kinds of massage; Thai, Japanese, Herbal, Swedish, Aromatherapy - all with varying degrees of success, Thai still being my favourite. Today I tried Ayuraveda massage. It started off with the woman asking me where I had pain. What she meant was: "where do you think you have pain so that I can put you through the most excruciating hell in that area?" Seriously, I was in shock. It involved her isolating the area and digging her thumb in as hard as she could followed by her elbow with all her weight on it. This went on for an hour with little respite, nothing relaxing about it at all. Surprisingly, now I have no pain in my shoulders however I don't really know if that is because the woman was indeed a well-trained massage Dr and magically cured me or that I could still be in pain but don't realise it because it is significantly less than when I was having my massage. Honestly, when she was doing my head I thought she was going to put her finger through my skull.
J is dealing with some thievery today. Some kid has been stealing his DVDs from his room. Ridiculous. He has had to bring in kids and search their bags to find them. And kids are not good at looking innocent it is laughable. Last Sunday I went outside to put up some questions around the corridor for a running dictation and as I turned the corner I spot two of my teens who hadn't showed up to class yet, sat together doing their homework. It took them about a minute to notice me and the look on their faces when they realised they'd been sprung was a picture it has to be said. Hilarious. I found it really hard to look angry at them - they were so mortified, poor things. At the end of class I only gave them homework for next week. One of the other students looks at me and goes "beautiful punishment teacher, beautiful". They are by far my favourite class. they knew we had a deal, if they do their homework and work hard in class I will give them less homework but if they dick around in class and don't their homework they will get more. It cracks me up when I mix up the pairs and some of the boys end up having to work with a girl because they just sit there shuffling their feet, the girl giggles and stares at the floor, it's so funny. Watching them conjures up so many horrifying memories, I am so SO glad I am not a teenager anymore!